Wednesday morning Tiara and I drove Trinity to school and on our way home Tiara was holding my hand. She started sinking her nails into my skin and I pulled my hand away and said “stop, don’t hurt Mommy.” She then grabbed my hand again as I was turning onto our street and once again I pulled my hand away from her as she started to scratch me.
Well, that really pissed her off and before I saw it coming she had me by the hair. I couldn’t get myself free because I was still buckled in but I finally got away from her. I then went around to her side of the car and was trying to encourage her to get out and she lunged at me. She had a handful of hair in each of her hands and was pulling with all her might. When this happens I have to lean in towards her not away or it hurts more. Leaning in is problatic because she can usually get a better grip. At one point I was screaming for help.
I yelled, “please someone help me, help me” over and over again and no one came. I was sobbing and hysterical with my head pinned to the sidewalk while she attacked and no one came. I finally got loose and was able to make it to the front door but I couldn’t find my keys faster enough before she caught me. I was banging and crying and still no one was coming. Maybe Tabitha left for a walk?
I was really starting to panic and wasn’t sure what I was going to do when suddenly Tabitha opened the door and saved me. She had been dead asleep and since we have the double paned windows she didn’t hear me. She called Louie and by some miracle the meeting he was planning on attending was cancelled and since it was his day off, he was able to come back home. Yes he was planning on working on his day off again but this changed his mind.
Later in the afternoon I decided to go to my neighbors houses and ask them if they heard me screaming for help? I first went to my favorite neighbor’s right next door and they both said they didn’t hear me. I told them what was going on and asked that if they ever heard me pleading for help to please call 911 for me. I then went across the street and asked Don if he heard me. He said No, “but if I had I would have understood and left you alone”.
That is what I was worried about. Most of my neighbors know Tiara is abusive so they ignore it out of respect for me and our family. I explained that I was worried about being trapped outside with no help and if he saw her hurting me or me screaming for help, could he please call the police in the future. He thanked me for telling him since he wouldn’t have known to do that.
The problem with being stuck in the front of the house is that if I get myself free from her I can’t just leave her and run inside because she could wander into the street and get hit by a car.
So there it is, another day of violence. Waiting and praying for this phase to pass.
P.S. I have good news on the couch. A bunch of my readers urged me to call the manufacturer so I did and it has a 2 year warranty which is valid until November 11, 2013! I just made it and it looks like they will replace it for me. YAY! Thanks for the good idea, some times I need a little help with the simple stuff.
xoxo tiffani
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So glad they are going to replace the couch and that seriously is awesome news. So sorry about you continually getting abused by Tiara. I know she can’t help it, but seriously my heart does break for you when I read this. Thinking of you and hoping her behavior levels off a bit very soon. xoxo
Tiffany – Happy the couch thing worked out for you. Hope Tiara’s anger stage quickly comes to an end!
Oh, how my heart hurts for you guys. We went through this with our son. Any time Tyler would lift his hand, we would all duck and run. We were fortunate enough to find a Psychiatrist to help us through medicine. He is on Seroquel and is so even tempered now. On occasion he will lash out but at least we feel safe again. Prayers that she moves on from this stage soon. We are only getting older and they get stronger. Not a good combo! Happy the couch thing worked out! We call our son Goldilocks, as he has broke everything in the house too!
What a great nickname, I love it!
Oh dear. This post has me in tears. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you that would make all your problems with Tiara being violent magically go away. Thank God all your neighbors are understanding at least. I must have missed the couch post, but glad it will be replaced. At least that’s something positive to look forward to. Hugs to you from me!
Tiffani, parents in your situation are difficult to help. What is a neighbor going to do? Risk their own safety to help you out of an attack that continues to repeat itself? How many times does a neighbor get punched, scratched and kicked, with no end in sight, before they decide to stay out of it?
And calling 911 is a double-edged sword for you. Oh, they’ll restrain Tiara all right – but it’s unlikely to be with the gentle hands you’d mandate. When a violent, 200 lb. person presents physical danger to the responding officers, they’re going to do whatever they must do to protect themselves – and that’ll likely be accomplished by extreme force you won’t be pleased with. There’s no magic wand to settle her down – or you’d be using it yourself.
Your approach is always reactive, which will never prove successful.
I previously raised your restraining Tiara in the car, yet you haven’t. If not for your own safety and hers, why not for the safety of innocent bystanders and other drivers on the road? People wag their fingers at drivers who text but what you do every single day is infinitely more dangerous on the road, yet you persist.
As long as Tiara gets to sit in the front seat with full access to you and the car – able to kill an unsuspecting family in their van or people strolling on the sidewalk – you’re happy. You want a magical answer whereby you’re not attacked but Tiara’s not restrained. And wouldn’t that be great! But it doesn’t exist.
Instead of asking “Why isn’t anyone helping me?” Ask why YOU haven’t helped end this imminent disaster to yourselves and others after all of these years by RESTRAINING Tiara when she’s in the car?!
(yes, this sounds harsh but it just feels like Groundhog Day- the same exact scenario replays itself over and over and over again and you focus on external sources not coming to your aid – but not why YOU haven’t done the one and only thing that would significantly reduce the risk to yourself and others?)
Oh, Tiffani…I’,m so sorry that I’ve been absent for a while. This move has really hurt my interaction with my favorite bloggers and friends. I am SO sorry that you had to endure that alone and no one would help. I am glad that you decided to tell you neighbors about the situation because as you said, they wouldn’t have known what to do in the even they did see that going on.
I am glad that your couch is getting fixed. I know how near and dear your white leather sofa is to you.
I’ve missed you my friend. I couldn’t help but think about you when I drove through LA and Riverside on my way to Phoenix.
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(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
http://raising-reagan.com