I am so over hearing “what are you doing for you?” Take care of yourself first, You need to worry more about yourself, Find some time for yourself, You need a break”, etc, etc. I know people are just trying to be nice and they have been given this advice themselves so they are passing it along but I don’t agree with this type of philosophy. I think it is totally selfish and self absorbed and I don’t think when my parents or grandparents were growing up they ever heard phrases like that. I am sure that Mother Teresa, Gandhi, or visionaries like Martin Luther King, Jr, did not put themselves first. If they did, they probably wouldn’t have accomplished what they are famous for. Changing the lives of others, through hard work, dedication and commitment to something greater than themselves. I know that when someone enlists in the armed forces to serve our country and protect all of us, they are not thinking of themselves first, they are thinking of themselves second. Fire fighters, police officers, social workers, teachers, priests, nuns and countless other professions are geared towards helping, educating, saving and serving others, not themselves. So why is it so many people are dedicated to helping and serving others yet we always hear these phrases? It doesn’t totally make sense.
I personally believe Tiara would not be alive if I worried more about myself and less about her. I put more emphasis on caring for my family than I do myself, but isn’t that what a good mother is supposed to do? Sacrifice, commitment, dedication, not me, me, me. Maybe I am inflating my self importance to my family but I don’t really think so. I do take care of myself, by eating healthy (most of the time), exercising and going to the doctor when necessary. I also have great friends who provide me with emotional support and make me laugh. Do I really need to do more than that? I don’t think so. I personally think so many people are unhappy in our society because they are so focused on themselves. Always worrying about “me”.
The reason I have come to this conclusion is because despite my daily life which is really hard, I find that I am more content with myself than most people, or rather happier. Why would I be happier? That does not make any sense. The first reason is that I choose to be happy. As you all know, I have bad days just like everyone else, but on the whole, I always try to look at the best in every situation . Secondly I always try to focus on the positive. And third, I worry about meeting the needs of my family before my own which gives me a great sense of fulfillment. It isn’t always fun and easy but at the end of the day, I can look myself in the mirror and not have any regrets. And when I want to do something else or am tired of my life I ask myself a question. “What would your family say about you at your funeral if you died today?” A little morbid, but it helps keep my priorities in line. Would they say I was kind, giving, compassionate, thoughtful, loving and always tried my best? I hope so.
And so if you are not happy in your life, in your marriage or just in general, I suggest look you start looking at the good in your life and do more for others than yourself and see what happens. You might be surprised.
Happy Thursday…..
So true Tiff -Your priorities are a beautiful thing!
You couldn’t be taking such good care of your family if you weren’t coming from a good place.
They say when the plane is going down, put to oxygen mask on yourself first, so you can help others. I think that is what people are saying….
So funny Sam because I did think of the airplane thing while I was writing this post. The weird thing is every time I hear a stewardess say that I always think to my self, Yeah right. I can hold my breath and put on my kids first. So typical of me.. xox