For the past 4 days I have done nothing except try to get mental help for a friend in the middle of a breakdown. A real psychotic breakdown, not just some silly emotional upheaval. My anxiety level has been the same as if TT was being put on a ventilator in the ICU, except in that situation I know what to ask, who to look to for answers and how to proceed with her care.
Dealing with an adult in the midst of a mental breakdown is one of the hardest things I have had to navigate.
If the person is suicidal the hospital can keep them against their will for 72 hours but if they aren’t suicidal they can’t be held against their will.
So what do you do with someone who was functioning but suddenly can’t function at all?
What if you had a friend who suddenly couldn’t drive a car, was too fearful and unstable to be left alone and was delusional?
You take them to a hospital with a psychiatric ward and hope they are admitted, right? But as you know, you can’t admit an adult against their will, so if they aren’t thinking rationally, they won’t agree to stay.
Through this process my heart has been with all the families who deal with this on a daily basis. It is such a roller coaster and there just isn’t enough help for the mentally ill.
I know I deal with Tiara’s mood swings and violence but I can explain and rationalize those behaviors. It’s the brain tumors in a specific part of the brain, seizures, medication side effects, frustrations, hormones, etc.
When you are dealing with a stable adult who suddenly isn’t stable, it is hard to understand and comprehend what is happening. I have to say after dealing with this tragedy it is so clear to me why there are so many homeless people living on the streets. It is also clear to me why kids are going into schools and stabbing other kids. Someone may recognize there is problem with the kid but it is sooooo difficult to get help, no one does.
It is nearly impossible to get someone help with an imminent mental health issue without jumping through a thousand hoops, having great PPO insurance and a team of family members working together to make it happen.
Once again another sad situation in our country which seems to be getting worse, not better.
xoxo tiffani
This is truly sad and so very sorry your friend is going through this. I do hope you can indeed get this person help against all odds. Thinking of you and your friend. Saying extras prayers for you all!! xoxo!!
Thanks for the prayers, Janine, she really needs them! Have a wonderful weekend! xoxo
Ironic, I was sitting in my friends kitchen last night having this exact conversation. Her 15 year old has had a total break down this week (again) and they have been the ER 3 times. They will not admit him even tho he is suicidal, he can not get in to a psych until next wed and he is mentally and physically out of control. I agree with you that this is where the system fails and we have suicides and homelessness, parents and adults begging for help and it’s not there.
Best of luck to your friend, may she find the help she truly needs!
I am so sorry for your friend, it is truly heartbreaking. One tip you may be able to pass along is that not all hospitals have psych wards so they don’t bother to take the patients even when they are clearly in danger. I took my friend to a hospital that has a psych ward so they were able to admit her. I am sure your friend knows this and has done everything, but never hurts to mention any small info that may help. xoxo
I am glad you posted something like this to bring awaraeness to others. I myself deal with my child who is almost 16 years of age. He has been in the Mental Health System since he was 7 years of age. I took him into see his doctors several times telling them he was having a tougher time than normal and they pushed him away after filling out some form they are required to do. Always telling me he was mentally stable and aware of what he was doing. He tried to harm himself from inhalents and cutting himself. I also caught him abusing over the counter medications in our home. This was all by the age of thirteen. They told me he was mentally stable to be home each time. There is also a 72 hour watch on minors as well as adults. Most get released when they need more help. They also told me that my son was fine to be in a public setting or go to school where he felt in his mind everyone was out to get him. They were always telling me how they are the professionals and know what they are talking about. My son was removed from school by myself eventually and is currently home schiooled. He is never left alone or allowed in a room with a closed door. I live this every day with no help from the professionals and no understanding of many people. My son has another side to him and never means to hurt anyone. He is a beautiful amazing person who loves his family so much. He just gets manic and deluisonal . That is when he acts out and could hurt someone. Like you with your daughter I can rationalize and work around it. He has never done anything to really hurt someone and we know how to handle it. I love him very much but it is hard to deal with this everyday. Mental Illness is so much different than a medical diease and you never know what can happen. Now he is older and stronger.He is currently struggling harder again. I am still currently trying to find a place for him to go because I want the best for him myself and my family. I to am having trouble getting him placed. This is exactly why some of these horrible things happen in the world. Where is the help and what is this world coming to.
I am so sorry Beverly, and you are right dealing with mental illness is so much harder than dealing with a medical disease. I pray you eventually find him the support and help he needs. xoxo
Tiffani,
so sorry about youre friend I know my Niece is going through bad times she has crying spells she don’t have insurance.
to get the help she needs she has a lot of bills and worries so I feel bad for any person who has this problem.
it really sad that life has so many worries hope youre friend gets better how do people get help that don’t have in surance.
she don’t make enough money to pay her bills so she is depressed has panic attacks it really makes me feel bad to see her this
way