Yesterday I talked about everything we did in NYC and showed the pictures but I never touched on what it felt like to be away from home.
To be honest, it felt wonderful. It was so odd waiting in line at the airport watching people stress and feeling completely at peace as if traveling was the easiest thing in the world. I noticed how angry and short tempered people appeared to be, yet to me, everything seemed easy because I didn’t have Tiara with me.
Tabitha and I got along exactly the way we do at home. We talk, she gets annoyed with me and wants me to stop talking at some point and hours later she is telling me something new. Trinity and I had a totally different experience. At home I am often irritated with her. She loses track of her homework, runs late, is easily annoyed with Tiara, and gets very angry and frustrated on a daily basis. On the trip, I can only think of one occasion she even remotely did something odd, which was the way she walked on the street. She kept wanting to walk 3 across, which doesn’t work well in New York, plus someone always gets left behind. I had to remind her to try and keep formation so as to be polite to others and everyone in our group. So not a big deal and not even worthy of discussing but it sticks out in my head.
Neither girl ever complained of the long walks, late nights, different food or anything. They just went with the flow and everything was easy, they were easy.
I realized that even though I was tired from the slight time change, different sleeping arrangements and all the walking from place to place, I never once felt “tired” like I do at home. I even forgot to take my thyroid medicine a couple of days and still I felt better than I do at home.
In the past few months I have mentioned on several different occasions how very tired I am some days. Lou always tells me, my life is exhausting, but I have been convinced that there is something wrong with me medically. At some point during the trip I noticed I hadn’t felt “tired” the way I do at home, not even once. I wasn’t getting more sleep on the trip, probably less sleep, but I never had to struggle through any activity. Every day, everything I do with Tiara is a struggle, yet in NYC I didn’t encounter any difficult situation that required me to physically move someone or mentally coerce someone to do something. Life was a breeze.
Once I returned home and started back with our routine, I understand Lou had been right all along. I have no idea how I make it through each day and do what I do? People tell me often they aren’t sure how I can physically and mentally take care of Tiara yet it seemed so normal to me, I forgot what it was like to live like other people, that is until our vacation.
What I also remembered and have know all along is that everyone has worries and stresses that feel just as daunting as mine, but not everyone is good at handling stress. As I looked around New York and saw how easily people became irritated or stressed over the smallest things, I was grateful for Tiara teaching me how to really appreciate “just living”.
I am happy to be home, but am working harder on getting some help in the house a few hours a day so I can pick up Trinity without Tiara and help lessen her stress. The trip really reminded me that I need to make an effort to try and normalize our life a little better. Feels like an impossible task but I am up to the challenge.
Have a wonderful weekend!
xoxo tiffani
available on kindle
Glad you had the opportunity to get that perspective. And glad you’re looking into getting some help a few hours a day. Sounds like the right thing to do~
I agree with Candi. You had an opportunity to get a break and get a different perspective. So glad you enjoyed yourself with your girls and Sam! Super nice of her to host:-) Obviously your situation is tramendously more difficult than the average parent, the mental and physical stresses could very easily be causing some sort of depression….
Wow. So glad you came to this realization. Your daily life with Tiara is emotionally and physically taxing. You probably do need some help to take more small breaks and have a less stressful outings with Trinity and Tabitha. You are superwoman — but your soulsister, the one with superpowers, exists only in comic books.
This perspective may prove more valuable for you and your family than the trip!
Dear Tiffani,
I have personally experienced how emotional stress can manifest in the body. Many days, when I was reading your blogs that discussed your fatigue or a pain behind your legs, etc, I was always curious if that was how your body expressed other feelings maybe…
It’s called “conversion”, we simply “convert” our emotional feelings into a physical symptom because that is so much easier to talk about and address. I, like you, consider myself high energy and happy. It’s hard for me to acknowledge negative feelings, but I am learning. What I have done is, instead of worrying about a symptom such as chronic fatigue (and I DO get the “tired” that you are talking about), I have learned to say, “Hmmmmm.. What is my body trying to tell me?” It’s really a form of communication, and we can use the “symptom” to guide us to make changes. Just like you are doing!
Another idea is, in my life-coaching practice, one of the first things I help people to do is establish a “well-being checklist”. These are the simple practices that we have learned will keep us feeling strong physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Write 5 things down to do daily, 5 for weekly, and 5 for monthly. The simplest things like time for a cup of tea, blog-hopping, taking your walk or a monthly lunch date with a dear friend….. You will be surprised how often you skip over these things to do for others, and then wonder why you have no energy.
At home, You have a “start up adult” (Tabitha), a special needs teen (TT), and a tempermental “tween” (Trinity) which my friends and I ALL thought was the hardest part of adolesence with girls. You gotta get your breaks sweetheart. My motto is, “I know I CAN do it all myself, but do I NEED to? NO!!”
I look forward to seeing some posts about “Tiffani’s Time”!!!!
xoxo
Marcy
I’m just so happy that you and the girls were able to get away and be completely carefree for a few days. If you ever want to come to Dallas, I have plenty of room!! Stacie xo