I was bullied a little in 5th and 7th grade and now that Trinity is getting ready to start 5th grade next week I was thinking back to those times. Not great memories, but they probably serve a purpose in helping me guide my girls through all the junk kids endure at school.
The first time I was bullied was in 5th grade by a 6th grader named, Cindy. She moved into my neighborhood and used to sit on the back of the bus and yell and throw stuff at me. Apparently she didn’t like the fact that I was confident with myself, or rather she thought I was “stuck-up”. I just ignored her and didn’t really bother worrying about her too much until the day she threatened to spit on me.
Of course I always sat in the front of the bus, as far away from her as possible, but one day at school she told me that she was going to get me after we got off the bus after school. I really started to panic on the bus ride home, especially when she started clearing her throat and gathering this huge loogie in her mouth. I mean, how more disgusting could you be?
Once the bus stopped, I ran off and had a big head start, since she had to walk off from the back of the bus. No running on the bus, thank goodness. Because she wasn’t a fast runner and much bigger than me, I made it home before she could launch her spit on me. She chased me all the way to my front gate. Funny enough, I don’t remember her bothering me much after that, but I do remember she seemed like she had a really horrible family life. Her mother was this loud, rude and obnoxious lady that nobody in the neighborhood liked. I kinda felt sorry for Cindy, even though she was so horrible to me and she eventually tried to be friends with me before she moved away. I could tell she was pretty miserable which is probably why she acted so miserable.
And now to my worst bullying incident. Let’s just say I was pretty spoiled as a kid and so before school started I always got a slew of new clothes. Apparently because I was spoiled and kinda shy everyone assumed I was “stuck-up” or that is what I heard all the time. I hated when people said I was snotty because I didn’t really think I was, but my mother always told me to “just ignore them.”
This whole ignoring people thing, didn’t seem to be getting me far with making new friends at Ensign. I realized I had an even bigger problem when three 8th graders stopped me in the hall on the first day of school to inform me, I was ugly, my clothes were ugly and my new super cool hair cut was hideous. They went so far as to tell me I needed to change my hairdo and stop acting like such a bitch, or else… I went home and told my Mom what had happened, as I was pretty upset. Her advice was still the same, “Just ignore them, Tiffani, they are jealous. You are so pretty, they just want to be like you, you don’t need them, you are better than them” Humm, why am I better than them? Because God gave me a pretty face and my parents spoil me? I wasn’t sure about this reasoning, it didn’t seem to make any sense?
I kept wondering if my Mom was giving me the best advice. The next day I found a horrible letter in my locker calling me every bad name in the book and indicating that they were going to beat me up if I didn’t change my ways. Plus they said everyone in the school hated me. I did have some friends so I knew the whole school didn’t hate me but I remember feeling really sad and scared. I knew I needed to switch up people’s perception of me, if I was going to survive 2 years at that school. Plus most everyone from Ensign would be going to the same high school, so I needed a new approach and fast.
From that day forward I made a decision. I would no longer listen to my Mother’s advice in regards to relationships. I wouldn’t ignore anyone at anytime. I decided I would make an effort to be nice to everyone in the school and try to get to know people even if they were dorky, smart, pretty, ugly, funny, fat, skinny, or dressed bad, I didn’t care, I was going to say Hi and be kind. No more ignoring people. And with my new attitude and approach everything started to turn around within days. People realized I wasn’t snotty I was just a bit shy, like most 13 year old girls.
Of course, not everyone liked me or trusted my intentions, especially once I got to high school. There were some girls I just couldn’t get to like me no matter what I did. Funny enough, a few of those girls still live in Newport and I run into them every once in a while. Apparently we all grew up, because they are super nice now and we get along great. I guess we all eventually grow up and figure it out, hopefully.
Happy Tuesday Everyone!!!
That’s terrible! I think you got bullied due to envy. Sweetie, you are super pretty! I was never bullied in school but my son did. I was an inch close to self-combustion when I found out. I still get so pissed when I relieve that moment.
You were quite wise for your age, Tiff! You still are! Guess that’s why I love you so much! xoxo
Found you via Twitter, and I’ve really enjoyed browsing your blog. Such a brave decision to tell your personal stories of bullying. I hope they help others in similar situations. Keep up the good work!
Tiffany, when I taught you and your class how to play basketball, y’all were freshman and I was a junior. All you girls were adorable and beyond sweet. I remember you the best always smiling, being kind and considerate, full of laughter and joy. In fact, when I read your blogs I hear your sweet mannerisms I remember. Ýour group of girls were the highlight of my day !