Last weekend was rather long and by Sunday night I was really whacked out. Tabitha and Trinity were supposed to be making dinner, their one official chore each week and it wasn’t getting done. Tabitha was asleep on the couch at 5:00p.m. after a long Saturday night out and Trinity was playing with her Itouch. I finally woke up Tabitha and yelled at them both to get working. I went to the market while Tabitha watched Tiara because I just needed a break from them.
When I came back she had started the prep work but Trinity was already in the kitchen complaining about how messy Tabitha was cooking. Tabitha cooks and Trinity cleans and what was supposed to be a break for me on Sunday’s has turned into a bickering match every week. Tabitha and Trinity never stop fighting the whole time. I then start screaming, Trinity refuses to eat the dinner, Tabitha gets offended, Tiara laughs at everyone and Lou usually has to step in and force Trinity to clean because she usually stomps off to her room to avoid her job. Lou has been working a zillion hours lately and promised to be home early but didn’t make it home until 6:30pm. By the time he walked in I was about to murder everyone and just wanted to get away from them all.
I took the tablecloth off the table and went to shake it in the front yard because it was filled with so much food I couldn’t stick it straight into the washing machine. As I was shaking it out, I felt compelled to start dancing on the front lawn with the tablecloth behind me like a super hero. I then decided to start twirling it like a high school flag girl on the field. Just so you get the whole visual, it is dark out, I am wearing my standard tank top and black leggings, no shoes and it is freezing. I am actually sober during this scenario even though you are probably imaging I must have been drunk. Wish I was drunk.
The girls and Lou see me through the window and start making faces and laughing. They then open the windows and start chanting, “This is what crazy looks like!” Tabitha made up a song about me losing my mind and before I know it the whole group is on the lawn with me laughing and teasing me that I have lost my mind. Yes, maybe so, but dancing around made me feel so much better.
I then decided I was tired, so I put the tablecloth down on the grass and laid down. They all started laughing even more and when they realized I wasn’t getting up and the show was over, they went in the house and left me alone. I laid there for a few minutes and starred up at the stars until I was cold and no longer annoyed with everyone in my family. I didn’t plan my moment of insanity but I have to say it really worked on cheering myself up.
This week has continued to be tough and today I lost it again. I woke up and of course the house was a a disaster and I had not one inkling of desire to clean it on any level. The laundry was folded on the coffee table and before I could move each pile to it’s respective room, Tiara started digging through looking for a new shirt. Everything was getting thrown to the floor and Lou started freaking out. “Tiffani where does this laundry go?”
me: “You don’t know? In everyone’s rooms.”
lou: ” How should I know which pile belongs to whom, it’s not MY JOB!”
me: ” FU*K YOU, LOVE”
My horrible comment didn’t even phase him, it was, as if, he didn’t even hear it. He continued to carry all the laundry to each room and I start crying. Really is this my life? Cleaning up laundry, crap, filth, dishes and countless other items for an almost 20 year old, 14 year old and a 10 year old? I should be on easy street at this point in my life but I’m not. Lou took Trinity to school and came back home because it was his one day off this week and started cleaning.
me: “DON’T clean up, it is my job, I will do it!”
lou: ” I’m sorry honey, I didn’t mean it. You know I love you more than anything.”
me: “That’s great Lou, but I hate this stupid job! I was born with a brain for some reason and when I spend my day cleaning it feels like there is no point in having a brain.”
lou: “Honey we all know you have brain. I’m sorry, let me help.”
We finally agreed I would clean and he would walk the dog because I had to deal with trying to get Tabitha out of the house for work because she was feeling sick. After she woke up she came and sat down on the couch and was talking to me when out of the blue Tiara grabbed my cell phone and threw it across the room. It hit Tabitha smack in the middle of the forehead and then bounced off her face and flew across the room. I have never seen anything like it. I wasn’t sure if it was an accident or intentional but he aim was unbelievably perfect.
Tabitha started crying, Tiara got sent to her room and Tabitha complained her head was pounding and she might have a concussion. Really? She finally left for work and I went to Old Navy, Costco, and the Post Office to mail my cards all by myself because Lou was watching Tiara. Huge break for me.
On my way home from Costco I stopped by the groomers to pick up Bailey. Scotty, our groomer, proceeded to tell me he found a golf ball size tumor on Bailey’s neck. What? He then said he felt one on the other side. I saw the huge tumor sticking out of his neck now that he was all shaved down but realized it may be swollen lymph nodes because the other side of his neck had a bump too, just not as big. Either way I called the vet and made an appointment in 1 hour.
Just praying it is an infection not something horrible because Tabitha loves that crazy dog more than anything.
Hoping my weekend gets better than my week! Have a great weekend!
xoxo tiffani
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Ericha says
First, I love read your posts, as always, because they make me feel that I am not the only “crazy” mom out there. How many times have I stomped off to my bedroom because I just could not handle it anymore? Too many times to count!!! On an advertising note…I noticed at the end of your blog an ad for Nordstjernan subscriber discount. This is a Swedish sight I follow on facebook. Do you follow them or is it showing up on your blog because I have “liked” them on fb? Just curious…
tiffani goff says
Thanks Ericha…. As for the ad, I think the people over at google know everything we do and so they put that ad up on your site because you are a fan. My friend told me once she had just booked a room at a hotel in Colorado and then an ad showed up on my site while she was reading my blog for that same hotel. A little spooky I think!
Lanaya @ Raising Reagan says
OH MY GOD ~ What a crazy couple of days. Mama how you hold it together is unbelievable!
I truly hope you have a better weekend. I hope the dog is going to be ok.
And I LOVE that to release some tension you went out and danced your ass off.
You go girl!
*Hugs*
Lanaya
http://www.raising-reagan.com
marcy says
Hi Love!
It’s the MOST wonderful time of the year, didn’t you know? lol….
OMG, I’m searching for something to say and what I’m thinking about is that the holidays bring many extrra tasks and stressors- and we don’t even realize it! Put that into an already crazy busy life, and that equals insanity, right?
As always, you make us all love you even more with saying how you really feel and how you are getting through it (or not, ha).
This might snap you out of it: this week, I arrived at work and learned I was the only therapist in the office that can evaluate adults -(other than the owner). A young woman with a brain tumor was coming in for an evaluation in an hour. WHHHHHAT?? I joined the practice to work with little kids that get better! One hour later, I was evaluating (and counseling) a mother of 4- 49 years old- with terminal brain cancer.
Anything that was overwhelming me about my life melted away instantly. As I looked at a copy of her driver’s license in her chart, I saw a BEAUTIFUL woman that was now unrecognizable.
As I evaluated her cognitive ability and language, We talked about being hopeful and about her being patient when she was having trouble finding the words to make a sentence. I guess this was a true xmas gift for me, pure gratitude for the life I’m living- no matter how impossible it seems at times. As of now, I get the choice to be alive.
Thank you Tiff for sharing your life with all of us, and I hope your week-end is as relaxing and wonderful as it can possibly be- you so deserve it. We all do:)
With love!
Marcy
tiffani goff says
Thanks for sharing Marcy, you always have a great perspective on life. That poor woman and her children. I always remind myself it could be much worse and you saw that first hand this week. Love to you and your familly…. tiffani
Rorie Kaplan says
Wow!! Really? I was all caught up until you drove into the Old Navy parking lot, but the Bailey thing is stressing me out too. Please let us know when you find out for sure! I love the photos, love the making up of the song about you (Matt does that to me all the time), I love the resting on the table cloth and watching the stars! Lou was really risking his life when he asked you where the laundry piles went after all of these years…aren’t men great? Can’t live with them and you can’t live without them!
tiffani goff says
I’ll call you after I get the results but I don’t have a good feeling about Bailey based on what the doc said…….
Jamie@SouthMainMuse says
Glad that shopping doesn’t stress you out. It’s started to stress me out. I put off going then every time I go it’s a large bill. Ugh. It is does all overwhelming at times. Best to go out and dance like crazy on the lawn than lose it with the family. I’m just known as the lady who exercises a lot. That’s my coping. Hang in there. If it’s any consolation, you look real skinny laying on the tablecloth. ha.
tiffani goff says
Yes, that makes me feel better! Thanks Jamie, love to look skinny
Mara Schantz says
Oh I was laughing really hard at the dancing part! And that TT was laughing while you were screaming. So glad Lou decided to stay home and let you have some alone time at Costco and Old Navy, sounds like a blast. You do look skinny lying on the table cloth! I am going to do the dancing thing the next time I lose it, great idea. xoxo
tiffani goff says
thanks for saying I look skinny, that made me happy! love you bf…
Mary@Back to the Basics! says
WOW!!! And I thought I had a rough week…Thanks for stopping by Back to the Basics! Following back!
Stacie says
Please tell me things got better and that the dog is fine! Big hugs to you girl!! Stacie xoxo