After Tiara and I made the vlog in the Target parking lot on Valentine’s Day, we went home to start the cooking. I was anticipating it was going to be a great day, but boy was I wrong.
I made the heart cake and left it to cool on the counter. We ran out to pick up Trinity from school and when we got home I finished the Chicken Tetrazzini.
Trinity was doing her homework early because she was really excited about the extra gymnastics class I had enrolled her in for that evening. It started at 6pm which is a difficult time for me to get Tiara out of the house, but Trinity is really into this gymnastics thing so I wanted to figure out a way to make it happen. Plus, Lou had promised to be home early, so I was hoping I wouldn’t have to drag Tiara with me.
I was finishing up my blog when all of the sudden the house seemed really quite. I walked into the kitchen to find Tiara eating the entire heart shaped cake that I hadn’t even frosted yet. I started screaming, but not swearing and took the cake away. Well, she didn’t like that all and grabbed a huge chuck of my hair in retribution. We fell to the ground as I was trying to release her grip on my hair. We started our normal wrestling routine but I could tell she was not giving up and was really mad. She wouldn’t let go of my hair and every time I tried to move, she pulled tighter. Her behavior was escalating like back in the time and I was getting really concerned.
As she held my head to the ground I kept thinking “If I can get to the phone and call 911 will I still have time to get Trinity to gymnastics or will she be late? Do I really need to call 911 or can I handle this?” I decided it was too risky and figured that if I tried hard enough I could get myself free. It took me a good 5 minutes and I suffered several deep scratches on my face and neck but I finally got away and ran to my room. I locked myself in and screamed for Trinity not to leave her room.
After a few minutes I went to check on Tiara and she was back to coloring at the table. Phew! It was now 5:30p.m. and I had to leave in 15 minutes to take Trinity. Tabitha called and happily said “Hey, Mom, what are you doing?”
me: “Well, Tiara just beat the crap out of me and my face is bleeding and I have to take Trinity and neither you or your father are home!”
tab: “Oh, sorry, I will come right home.”
The phone rings again.
Lou: “Hey, Hon what are you doing?”
me: “Sitting her staring at the computer waiting to leave. I thought you were going to be home soon?”
Lou: “I am almost home, the traffic is terrible but I am on Redhill.:
me: “Ok. Well, then I will tell you. Tiara beat me up and I don’t have the energy to bring her with me to drive Trinity can you make it home in time?”
Lou: “Yes, I’ll make it.”
I hung up the phone and sobbed. I don’t usually cry much when Tiara hurts me but I felt so sad. My scratches were stinging and I hate when she scratches my face. I hate that she won’t stop eating and I hate that we have to wrestle. I hate that I have to warn Trinity to stay in her room and I hate that I don’t feel like I have any options.
All of our recent fights center around food. She wants to eat 24 hours a day and is so overweight, I won’t let her. It is dangerous for her health, yet when I try and stop her she physically hurts me. It is a lose lose situation.
Lou made it home in time and came running in to see the mess. Tiara had thrown all the hearts and dollies we used for making Valentine’s all over. The floor was covered in cake crumbs and crayons were everywhere. I left with Trinity and took her to gymnastics. I checked her in and then left. I went back home, walked inside and the house was almost perfect. Lou was sweating from working so hard and Tiara was waiting for me at the door. She had missed me.
Lou came and gave me a big hug and said, “Why didn’t you call me right away?”
me: “Because you work so far away from home now and I didn’t want you to speed home to try and save me, that would be too dangerous. I can’t have you getting hurt too.”
Lou gets so upset when Tiara hurts me he gets crazy and will speed excessively to get home to me. Since I know this, I don’t tell him if she has hurt me unless he is close to home.
Once I realized everything was fine at home, I decided to drive straight back to the gym to watch Trinity in her class. I never get the chance to watch and I knew she would love it. I ignored the fact that my hair was sticking out crazy everywhere from Tiara pulling it. I also pretended it was normal that my face and neck were all scratched up. I figured most people would think my cat scratched me.
Trin saw me watching in the stands while working on the bars and waved to me with a big smile on her face. I waved back. I felt a glimmer of happiness knowing that Trinity was enjoying herself and I was able to make that possible, despite all that had happened in the past 2 hours.
Hope you have a wonderful Monday and if you are lucky enough to have the day off, ENJOY IT!
p.s. I know I promised you a recipe for a favorite salad in my vlog. I will post it sometime this week.
xoxo tiffani
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Mary@Back to the Basics! says
WOW! I hope you’re healing up now. I had a chance to go back and read your “Journey” posts. It sounds like you’ve been through quite a lot but are still strong. Not to sound corny but I truly admire your strength and dedication. I hope you have a positive rest of the day!
tiffani goff says
Thanks Mary, today is better!
Ramona Matta says
oh my gosh we have so lived this with Veronica, the hair pulling, the biteing. the scratching, and the kicking. that was in her adolescent years seems
to more so when she was going to school, Lookingat the picure of your cake i had to laugh bcause we have lived that one too. The har pulling battle that came over breakfast one mrning. Her older sister Lesli made Veronica’s breakfast, and then Leslie made some fr her self WellVeroica decided she wanted those egs too and gt into it with withLeslie. the Hair pullig Looking back I attribute this behiavor to the meds she was on. Today she is on different meds and is so dosile snd gentle, so much so that people who woked with her in school coment on the gentle person she has become. Today she is a far different person from the person then.
tiffani goff says
So happy that she is kind and gentle now. Wish I could find the right meds to do that for Tiara.
Dara says
wow. you have a difficult time of it don’t you! I hope you’re doing ok.
Mikela Nolan says
Don’t poke the bear!
Lanaya @ Raising Reagan says
Holy Jesus Tiffani ~ I can’t imagine what you have had to and continue to have to go through. You have such an amazing husband for cleaning up while you were gone. I am glad that you got to have some time to yourself and enjoy Trinity doing her gymnastics. Hugs mama!
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(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
http://www.raising-reagan.com
Josephine silva says
Hey tiffani…..my son Greg has tsc he is 18yrs old and we live in Australia……I understand as only a mother of a tsc child can really get how heartbreaking that was for u . Greg is mostly calm now but when he was younger it was a diff story…..we went from seizure med to seizure med from the age of eight till eleven….a couple of them, topamax (over time) and keppra sent him into wild violent rages , he has been on Dilantin and frisium now for seven years still seizures every day all kinds, but behaviours are minimal, usually when he doesn’t gt what he wants, he’s a big boy and he can hurt too……….we started rapamune as well for the seizures last September 2012 and they have reduced by half daily and cognitively he’s alot better too………thanku for this blog, and I hope that u r ok now…..xxx
tiffani goff says
Thanks Josephine, I am doing better today. We have talked about starting Tiara on Rapamune but her Doctor and I are both worried about the side effects. Her immune system sucks and doesn’t protect her against much. Thanks for telling me about your son and I hope one day Tiara’s moods even out like, Greg. xoxo tiffani
Sara says
Wish you had some Peace and Calming essential oil to diffuse. Hope things get better. Glad you were able to watch the class.
Sylvia says
I’m sorry your day turned into such a disaster. We had a rough weekend too! Glad you’ll get some time off in a few days!
Jamie@SouthMainMuse says
Bless your heart. I sat half stunned, half incredulous laughing, half crying for you. Okay — that’s three halves. Dear Tiffani what a day. So glad you could relax and watch Trinity do her thing. That’s exciting. Prayers and a big hug your way.