So it is Thursday morning at 4am and I can’t sleep. I already wrote a post for today and it has been published but I am so sad, I needed to write.
Yesterday was the day we had to put Bailey to sleep forever. He hadn’t gone pee since Monday and I knew it was time. I gave everyone the opportunity to go with me, but it was only Tabitha who met me at the vets office. We brought his bag of treats and and waited. Once the doctor saw him, and his full bladder, he said ” I am pretty sure the cancer has gone to his brain, which explains why he is blind and now can’t go to the bathroom. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?”
me: “It’s time, isn’t it?”
him: “Yes, but you can wait. You don’t have to do it right now.”
me: “No, I won’t let him suffer, we’ll do it now.”
Bailey seemed calm as if he knew. He was ready, but neither Tabitha nor I were. The doctor gave us the option or staying or leaving. “We will stay.” They shaved a small patch on his leg, quickly cleaned the area and inserted the overdose of anesthesia that would send his soul to heaven. He quickly fell asleep as we sobbed over his limp body.
One last kiss goodbye.
We left in the separate cars but both came home to do the same thing. I immediately threw out his bed and all his toys except his favorite squeaky Santa toy and his duck while. Tabitha walked in and went to his medicine cabinet and where we keep all his treats and cleaned it out along with his bowls. I was crying more than I have cried in years and still am.
I felt much sadder than I ever imagined but I was so worried about Tabitha I didn’t have time for my own grief. Bailey was her dog. We bought Bailey because she said she needed a dog to love. He was the one she talked to everyday. He was the one who listened without making comments she didn’t want to hear. He was her support when she thought her sister was dying. And now he is gone after only 6 years.
So needless to say, last night was horrible for Tabitha as Lou and I both tried to find a way to calm her and help her through her pain. I woke up all night, missing Bailey and worrying about Tabitha. I checked on her several times during the night and she was asleep but I woke up to this on my phone.
She posted this on her Facebook at 11:24 pm last night.
Where do I start? Bailey you are my best friend in the whole world. I fell in love with you the first moment we met. From your gorgeous coloring to your magnetic personality, we became inseparable. You always stole my fur blankets and clothes and would kick me in the head while we were sleeping. But because it was from you, I never minded. I even shared my avocados with you and would have gladly given you anything in the world. I will never find the right words to explain my unconditional love for you. You were the one who never left my side when things were really low. You would sit with me while I cried and cried and thought all hope was lost. I will be beyond eternally grateful for you and everything you were and still are. You brought a light to my life, that I will never let burn out. You are and always will be my best friend. I know our souls will meet again. So until then my LOVE. Stay safe up there in heaven and keep an eye out for me. We both know I’ll need it. I love you to the moon and back.
Rest in Peace My Sweet Sweet Angel I cannot wait till we meet again.
And now the long road of grieving begins…
xoxo tiffani
I am so sorry for your loss!
Ohhh, the flowing of tears. The sadness of losing a true and loyal friend. Just breaks my heart.
Sending hugs to the whole family. And holding my LucyDog extra close today.
Luv ya!
Chantelle
Thanks Chantelle!
So sorry Tiffani for your family loss. I know it’s been very tough for you lately and bailey was part of your family. Sending love your way!
So sorry to hear this news. One of the hardest decisions to make but slso the kindess to our dear pets when they are uncomfortable. Cherish the memories and know he has gone to a better place. Have Tabitha read the poem rainbow bridge off the internet, very nice poem about losing a pet. Will b thinking about you and your family
Thanks for helping us during this difficult time. Your words and suggestions were very helpful.
I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts.
I’m so very sorry Tiffani. You have really been through it. First your emotional roller-coaster with Tiara’s medication and now the loss of a beloved pet. And to have a child so upset too. No wonder you are sobbing. I love all creatures but dogs have a special place in my heart. They really do know when we are hurting and come to comfort us in their quiet way. So very sorry again. Love and a hug. j
Oh Tiffani,
This hits so close to home for me, and through my own sobs and tearsI wish there was something I could say to ease yours and Tabitha’s grief. Standard poodles are kinda like people……if anyone has had one or cared for one, they know what I mean. So special, and Bailey was absolutely georgeous.
Try to remember Bailey is in the BEST of all places now- he isn’t sad one bit because he is with God in heaven, enjoying every doggy delight possible! If you knew it was absolutely wonderful for him, does it make you feel any better? It helped me a lot…..
Big hugs to you,
Marcy
I makes me feel better but not Tabitha. She worries he is missing her. And yes, standard poodles do seem like humans. As Tabitha will tell you, she isn’t a dog person because Bailey wasn’t a dog. xoxo tiffani
I am so sorry Tiffany ! Losing a pet is so painful. How is Tiara handling it?
Tiara hasn’t even noticed. She is only upset because Tabitha is so upset. She is scared because Tabi is so sad and keeps walking around saying “Tabi, sad”
xoxo tiffani
Sometimes all you can do it cry….I too am crying for your family’s loss. Bailey was a very well-loved and cherished member of your family, I am glad you all had her, especially Tabitha. So sorry he couldn’t be with you all longer….
Heartbreaking.
Take comfort knowing he left peacefully, surrounded by the ladies he adored. We should all be that lucky. He’s in peace, at last.
Knowing all that will bring you much solace in the days and weeks to come.
i am so sorry. I understand how you feel because I still miss the dog I grew up with who died when I was 12.
I’m so sorry Tiffani ~
xoxo
Lanaya
http://www.raising-reagan.com
I knew this post would be coming. So sorry that Bailey is gone. We know that our pets will only live a certain amount of years. They are not just pets to us and the loss we feel when they pass is just like when humans pass. I cried reading Tabitha’s FB post! Thanks a lot. LOL! Thinking of your family this weekend. Hugs, Stacie xoxo
This was so beautifully written Tiff. I am so sorry for your whole family! I cried while I read it. RIP Bailey. You were a good boy.
Dear Bailey,
As your former groomer, I am so saddened to hear of your passing. You were always a well behaved joy and will be dearly missed. I will never forget how you greeted and said good bye to me before and after each visit (ostrich holing it in between my legs for pets). Fortunately, your imprint in your families’ lives will be ever lasting and cherished.
RIP Bailey
Thanks Scottie, I didn’t have the heart to call you! I was hoping you would read it on my blog. Thanks for taking such good care of him. When and if we decide to get another dog, you will be see us again.
xoxo tiffani