Sometimes instead of being irritated that people are always staring at Tiara and I, I try to imagine what they are thinking. I wrote a post back in June, “Why is everyone always staring at us” and nothing much has changed since then. Today, I was pulling my car into the handicap spot in front of Target when this woman started staring at my car rather intently. At first I was nervous I was about to crash into something, so I stopped pulling into the spot and made sure I wasn’t about to run into a person or an object. Everything was clear so I finished parking. She kept staring while walking away from our car. I thought she was going to fall she was craning her neck so hard. Very odd.
“What the heck is she looking at?” Oh well, I got out, set up the wheel chair and pushed TT into Target. We only needed razors and Advil so I decided we would quickly grab our stuff and then get her popcorn after we were done. I try to get the popcorn second if at all possible because I feel bad making a mess in Target. I would rather her destroy my filthy car, than spill popcorn on every aisle.
As I was making our way down the razor aisle there was a woman standing in the middle of the aisle smelling a large bottle of body wash. My first thought was “Is that woman pregnant?” I have no idea why that jumped into my head, but I feel like every where I go lately I see really big pregnant ladies, after I see them I silently Thank God I am done with that phase of my life. Sad but true, waiting on the grand kids to arrive.
Oh back to the lady. She then put the wash back and stepped over so I could make my way down the aisle. Just before I passed her, she picked it up again, opened the lid, closed her eyes and took a big inhale. It was as if she was holding her breath to try and take in the complete fragrance of the soap. I was finally able to grab my pack of razors and move past her, but I couldn’t help looking back once more to see if she was still smelling the body wash. Guess what, she was. Sounds so stupid, but I really wanted to just stop and stare and see how long she was going to spend smelling that one bottle of soap. Of course, I am such a freak, I couldn’t stop thinking about why did she need to smell the same bottle so many times. If she spent that much time smelling soap, how long would it take her to get through Target, an hour, maybe 2? Was she really pregnant and super freaky about smells or did she just have 5 full minutes of her life available to pass away on smelling soap?
So after I spent the next 10 minutes of my life contemplating this woman and the soap I better understood why Tiara and I might capture so many stares. I guess people are bored and when they see us maybe they are wondering:
“Why is she in a wheelchair? Why does she have such curly hair when her Mom has straight hair? Is that her Mom or a caretaker. Why did she just throw her shoes across the store? Why is she dancing and singing out loud while the lady pushing her seems oblivious to the whole thing? Why is that lady wearing a flower in her hair and smiling when she is pushing a child in a wheelchair? Why is that child so overweight and her Mom isn’t? Why is she letting her eat popcorn?”
I guess I could go on forever and ever thinking about why people stare at us but who cares. After Target we walked over to Sprouts, more people stared, we got our stuff, went back to the car almost got run over my some rude driver and went home. Ohh, door bell just rang.
Yay, the lady who bought Trinity’s American Girl Doll Tree house just showed up. We posted it on Craigslist last night and sold it in an hour for $125 cash. Trinity is revamping her room to accommodate all her art stuff and wants a new dresser. I told her she would have to sell her current dresser and all the doll stuff she never uses if she wants new stuff. She decided we should sell the tree house first, so she cleaned it up and I posted the ad and viola, $125 in Trinity’s pocket towards a new dresser or art supplies.
Of course once she realized it was sold, she started stressing about what she should buy first. Another easel or the Ikea dresser that her big sister has? Decisions, decisions, for once they are happy simple decisions.
Have a wonderful weekend.
xoxo tiffani
available on kindle…
I want to know what body wash that woman was enjoying! LOL! I love your perspective on things! I think people just love to stare at you 2 because of your beauty!! Have a fabulous Friday! Stacie xo
I don’t know about California but in NJ, I can tell you it’s common to find people park in handicapped spaces then exit their vehicles seemingly as able-bodied as anyone else. Aside from it being infuriating, it weakens tolerance for those with true special needs whom the community should legitimately embrace. So I wonder if she may have been trying to assess which camp you fell into.
Regarding the stares Tiara receives, I think your experience of having repeatedly stared at a woman for merely taking a lengthy whiff from a bottle of soap illustrates perfectly why Tiara’s behavior creates questions and a frenzied internal monologue in others. A teenager in a wheelchair who isn’t paralyzed is confusing enough. A wheelchair bound teenager tossing her shoes across a store or stripping off her clothing or spilling popcorn or physically assaulting her own mother would draw even longer stares.
And each of those behaviors will evoke different flavors of stares – from disgust (why doesn’t that woman physically restrain her violent teenager so strangers don’t have to risk their own safety to come to her aid) to anger (how could she give that girl popcorn when she’ll only spill it and cause hazard for unwitting patrons) to even mere entertainment (HA! A chubby chick in a wheelchair was topless while her mother was chatting it up with the cashier)?
I was profoundly irritated by the constant stares our family received every single day but even as a very young child, I knew the stares were natural and that I, too, would stare at us on the outside looking in. We were 5 well behaved people walking into a restaurant to enjoy a meal with 1 person singing loudly, flailing his arms and grunting wildly. That wasn’t exactly pleasant for other Sunday diners who weren’t bothering us and found it difficult to have a civilized conversation and a meal they, too, deserved. So if they reciprocated by staring at us, I guess we were – at least – even.
Well said, Mikela! You really crack me up.
Have a great weekend
xoxo tiffani
I’ll admit I am fascinated by humans, I love to people watch. Sometimes people are not think anything nasty, although I admit there are plenty of rude people out there. The first time my son (4 at the time) noticed a young girl of about 12 in a wheel chair, she was missing a leg, he kept staring. I was embarrassed and asked him what he was looking at, he says “oh Mummy look at that girl she has superman in her hair, sure enough there were superman clips in her hair. The mother looked up and smiled and said yes she loves superman. But I could understand that this is not what you are experiencing all the time and that it must sometimes become so frustrating
Hi there, I’m a new follower of your blog from the Monday Mingle Blog Hop! Would love if you could stop by mine. Thanks :0)
The Three Whiskateers
http://thethreewhiskateers.blogspot.com/
I read your post on Bloggy Moms. People can be so rude and insensitive at times. I commend you for staying cool.
Blessings~
Alethea