Since last Wednesday, it seems as if a lot has changed in our lives. Thursday we all woke up feeling the loss of our dog and I wasn’t quite sure how to help Tabitha through her grieving. She finally made it to work and I decided that I needed to clean out her room because she and Bailey spent lots of time holed up in the “hoarder hell” as I like to call it.
I avoid spending time in her room at all costs, but I knew I had to do this. So I spent 7 hours cleaning out her room, while Tiara destroyed the rest of the house. The underneath of her bed was filled with old notebooks from high school, trash, old keystone unopened beer cans and more dust than I have ever seen. I sent her a picture of the new and improved room and she was so excited she brought home a pizza for dinner, since clearly I didn’t have time to cook and a monogrammed bracelet with a “B” on it for me. “B” for Bailey! Oddly enough the room cleaning really made her feel better and she was suddenly “her old self.” Amazing what a little organizing, purging and cleaning can do for the soul. So grateful for this.
Trinity went to a birthday party at Timree’s on Friday night for one of her best friends and was instantly obsessed. As you know Trinity takes art every Saturday, but the class at Timree’s sparked a renewed interest in her art. I have to say, her studio is so fabulous, you instantly want to start creating and painting. Saturday morning we had to go straight to Micheal’s and buy canvases and new paints. She painted for 8 hours on Saturday. It was sheer bliss not to hear the TV, the ipad, the iphone or any other electrical device, ONLY MUSIC.
Of course I am growing seriously tired of the song “Godspeed” by the Dixie Chicks because that is the only song Tiara has listened to for the past 10 days. Listening to the same song over and over again for 10 days in a row can really send a person over the edge. Trinity starts screaming and stomping every time she hears it and then complains “we have to change it” but then Tiara screams and yells louder. I personally would rather listen to the song than screaming and yelling but apparently Trinity would not. Either way someone is always yelling or screaming.
I went to the dermatologist on Friday to get the mole looked at on my back and yes he suspected it was a basil cell carcinoma, so her removed it along with a clear mole on my butt. I have had this hideous tumor like thing on my bottom for years but I had no desire for the dermatologist to get his face close to my butt to remove it, but it had grown so much you could almost see it through my bathing suit if you stared at my butt hard enough. I know this, because my husband is a stalker, even after 20 years of marriage and last summer he liked to mention this fact to me all the time. I figured I should have it removed since he was already removing stuff. Apparently it was a clear mole. I also had a lovely wart on my finger and decided to burn that off. BIG MISTAKE!. By Saturday afternoon I had such a huge swollen blood blister on my finger and I could barely move my hand, that is until I finally poked it with a needle to release all the blood. That felt so much better, that was until I put it under the water. Hurt so bad, but is better today.
The whole wart on my finger thing reminded me of high school. Funny side story. In high school I had a huge wart on the palm of my right hand. It was clear and round with little black dots in the center. Clearly a wart. I used to try and hide it as best I could, until some guy would try and hold my hand. I never was much for hand holding but I really avoided it at all costs with the obviously huge wart on my hand. The smart guys would ignore it, but I had a tendency of attracting the “not smart guys” so most of them always asked me what it was. My response was always the same “Oh nothing,” until one Bozo gave me the perfect response. He asked me “did you get that callous from holding the ballet bar?” “YES, YES, I DID!” I remember thinking “what an idiot, but thank you for the fabulous story. That became my usual response after that and the future boys believed me or rather they pretended to believe me.
And last but not least since I last posted, I finished my Dad’s books for work. Back when I was in law school and working for my Dad I started putting his checkbook entries into Quicken so it would be easier for the accountant, that being my Grandfather at the time, to do his taxes. After I quit working in his office, I would go into the office once in a while to do this job for him. After Tiara got way too hard to handle, he started bringing me the books home. My Dad is very private and super old school so he refuses to do his banking online and doesn’t want anyone else knowing how much money he makes and spends. I used to do a few months at a time but last year, he kept forgetting to bring them home. Finally in October, he brought me 9 months worth. I actually hate doing the books but love my Dad and he is so sweet to my family, I do them even though I hate it. Well, I put them away and totally forgot until December that I had none done for the entire year. NIGHTMARE!
I started working on them right after Tiara got out of the hospital on January 5 and Saturday night at 7:45 p.m. I FINALLY FINISHED!!!! I felt such a huge weight off my chest. It almost felt as good as when we turned in Trinity’s 4th grade mission project. I think I was able to get them done because we went for a walk Saturday afternoon, which I hadn’t done in weeks and I felt so happy and energized, I just came home and tackled the horrible job.
One more reflection. I miss Bailey terribly and the house feels so lonely without him, but it is much cleaner. I had no idea that he contributed to making the house messy. I know he was 65 pounds and took up a lot of space, but the floors haven’t been as dusty. I already called our breeder on Thursday, the day after he passed and put our name on the list for the next litter, but now I am really going to reconsider the whole idea. A puppy is so much work and brings so much love, but my life has felt a little easier the past few days. I am really going to contemplate this new puppy before we actually do it again.
Hope everyone had a great weekend and hopefully you are all enjoying another day off.
xoxo tiffani
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I rescued a one-year old less than a month after my beloved first dog died 8 years ago because I was so heartbroken and empty and really felt like the essence of a dog makes for a happier house. It’s true, of course, and while I adore my little furbaby, it was a mistake and I’m guilty of having been complicit in creating more burden for myself (in my defense, I didn’t have children when I adopted her).
But right now I’m a very busy mom and when my little canine buddy leaves this Earth, I will NOT re-adopt.
But this is a lesson in knowing thyself. I love to sit still and watch a good movie or read a book. I don’t focus well with lots of noise and antics. I attribute this to having grown up with a special needs brother who made life completely chaotic in the house. My siblings and I all love quiet, peaceful time and screaming and drama will still elicit some sort of post-traumatic stress in each of us (except for my brother who is the source of it and is fine 5 minutes later when everyone else is in a fetal position and calling their therapist).
Anyway, I have dear friends who have ants in their pants and would go insane if they didn’t have some house construction going on while also juggling bake sales, cheerleading, football games, laundry and a full-time job. I’m exhausted just to hear of their week. If you’re the busy bee type (and I sort of get the idea you are), get a puppy – or 2 – and enjoy. But if you’re digging this new found freedom, a cleaner house and easier life, grab it by the horns and ride it for a while. You might be onto something.
Thinking I am going to take your advice on this on Mikela. Yes I am a busy bee, but I am definitely loving having an easier life. xoxo
I’d take a break from the dog thing for a bit. Just my 2 cents. I’m glad you went to the dermatologist. No matter what, early detection is key. Take care of yourself! Have a great week! Stacie xo
So sorry about Bailey Tiff! I know that all of you loved him and he was a very good boy! I will miss him sitting and trying to lick me when I am with you next time. The thing about a dog is exactly what Tabi said, they never get mad at you and love you no matter what. However, knowing how crazy your life is and how crazy ours is now with two new rescue nightmare puppies, I would say to enjoy the clean and quiet for a while. I know it is hard, but try to rest and make your life a little bit easier, LOL! Love you!