Of course I’ve missed you all but I am sorry to report the move was worse than I could have ever imagined. Lou and I have never been more physically and or emotionally challenged, as we are right now. We moved in to our new house a week and half ago, and I have just started to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Lou’s clothes are hanging in closet, mine are not. We set up a room for Tiara which she seems to really love, but despite this fact her behavior is the absolute worst I have ever seen.
I am scarred, scratched from forehead to ankles, bruised and I can’t get her to stop. In the past week, there isn’t a day that has gone by that someone hasn’t had to pull her off me at least twice a day. I can no longer take her for rides except for her lunch because she can’t be trusted. She hurts me when her food is involved.
Today I took her to Target for the first time in days and I wasn’t able to drive home because I saw her behavior escalating once again. Lou had to come home from work in the middle of his shift, to rescue me, again. This has become a daily occurrence. The psychiatrist has her on around the clock Ativan but even that isn’t working.
If you follow me on Facebook, you know that she eloped on our third night here and went missing for 10 minutes. She walked to the end of the cul de sac, went through the pass way, walked along the busy street and turned into the next cul de sac, where a neighbor saw her climbing into a parked black car. She must have thought it was my car. With the help of all the neighbors we found her before the police arrived but then she beat me up when we got home because I was crying hysterically from her being lost. She hates when I cries.
On a positive note, our new landlord allowed us to remove the carpeting and put in hardwood vinyl plank flooring which is a Godsend, but physically tearing out the carpet, cleaning the floor, and laying the new floor taxed my body to the max. It still hurts to lift my arms. Yes, Lou and I did it all ourselves.
Actually it feels like Lou and I have done everything ourselves except for the 10 hours of help from the professional movers and help from my mother in law and her fiance, we have done everything!
We had to secure the house with extra locks, fix the latches on the gates and add bolts so TT couldn’t escape again. Put up the trampoline, assembly the swing stand so she could still swing, fix all the broken dining rooms chairs she has trashed, along with packing and unpacking everything.
Enough complaining. We do love the new house and it is really starting to look like our home. During this transition Tabitha decided to fly the coop, so she didn’t move with us. She is now independent and loving it. I have been sleeping better as I am not constantly worried about her and she stops by for food and supplies, which I love. We do miss seeing her every morning and night, but at 21 it was the perfect time for her to do her own thing.
Trinity is now hanging solo with Tiara and I which is a difficult transition for her. She didn’t want to move, and has been upset with all the violence and changes. I tried to soften the stress of the move by ordering her the New American Girl doll, Isabelle, she has been coveting since January. I had it delivered the second day we were here and she was ecstatic. I also offered to buy her Apple TV tomorrow since it is still on sale at Target, another smile. Sometimes a little materialism makes a girl feel better.
As for keeping myself safe, I did speak with Tiara’s regional center caseworker and she is going to help me get more crisis intervention hours, asap. This is really going to be important for this week since Lou is traveling to Colorado for 36 hours for work. We are also going to try adding more medication starting today.
Ohhh, so that is what has been going on. I have forgotten to include so much, like the day she threw her ipod under the cheese freezer at Costco and while I was on hands and knees looking for it, she grabbed my hair and wouldn’t stop pulling until a gentle man intervened. I have so many of those stories I can’t even begin to recall them all.
Just know we have been holding on by a thread at the Goff home and prayers are always welcome.
Miss writing…. this felt good.
xoxo tiffani
Aww, Tiffani I did see that on Facebook about Tiara running off when you first moved and my heart was breaking for you. I cannot even imagine this or the level of violence you have had to endure, but still can’t believe all you have gotten accomplished through it all and the house looks gorgeous so far. God Bless You! Seriously, you are still amazing in my eyes always and sending some extra prayers your way that intervention will be able to help and less the violence greatly now. Thinking of you and sending tons of good thoughts your way now, too. xoxo
You are always in my thoughts. You are not alone.
Tiff – I hope the meds help but I am sure the move took its toll on TT since chance is always harder on them. Hopefully her mood will get better real soon especially with Lou going away for work. I love what you did with the house – you always amaze me!
So sorry Tiff! I have been thinking about you so much and trying to send positive thoughts and prayers. Hopefully things will calm down soon. I will be up next week to work and hopefully I can see you! Love you!
Oh Tiffani! You poor thing. Those scratches look painful. I’m so sorry Tiara is going through this extra aggression. I hope after all the confusion of moving dies down that she will adjust to her new home and this violent behavior will stop. Do you think she may have wandered off because she was trying to go home? Her missing must have been so scary. I don’t even want to think about it. Thank God you found her safe and sound. I hope the medication will calm her and the extra help will get you some respite. Prayers are going out for you guys! Love you guys!
Oh Tiffani, I’m catching up on your blog and FB status… Thinking of you, TT and the rest of your family. I hope the drs get things figured out asap. Hugs, Stacie xo
I have missed reading your posts a lot! thanks for the update:-) I will send EXTRA prayers your way!! And remember, “This too shall pass”. Xoxoxo
She ran away? How in the world. Bless your heart. I want to see more of your house. Seems like things are settling down, after reading your last post. Other than those concerns about Tiara. I hope you have moments of peace.