Last night Louie and I were sitting on the couch watching TV and I was complaining about my poochy stomach. Until recently, I always had a flat stomach, but suddenly my whole body has shifted and if I gain even 1 pound it shows on my belly not on my butt. My whole life I worried about having a big butt and now I have to worry about a big stomach, instead. Seriously? Luckily, Lou could care less about my stomach because of course he knew I would eventually have a bigger stomach as both my mother and grandmother did. You probably think I’m kidding, right, wait listen to this.
Every time we discuss anything about my genetics such as my looks, my personality, my behaviors he always says “Oh, I knew that when I married you.”
Me: “Really Lou, how is it that you knew everything about me before you married me and exactly how I would turn out 20, 30, 50 years down the road?”
Lou: ” I have told you a thousand times Tiffani, I looked at all the females in your family, your grandma’s, your mother and your aunt’s before I married you and decided you would probably end up a version of them and I was good with that. Your body type was most like your Mom and her Mother so I figured by the time you were an old lady you would still be thin with a little bit of a stomach. You wouldn’t have too many wrinkles or bad skin because your Mom’s face looked great and you would probably always exercise. You would be bossy, but a good mother and I could always depend on you. Plus, you had big hips that would be great for having babies!”
Really, fascinating isn’t it? I still can’t believe the guy I met 22 years ago, who always ran 30 minutes late, kept his clothes in piles on the floor and couldn’t ever seem to make it to class in college had this much insight into the future. Apparently his father told him about this theory and kinda drilled it into his head. “If you are dating a girl, always look at her mother because that is what your girlfriend is going to look like in 20 years.”
I have to say that is such great advice, because for the most part it is true, and I am a little jealous my parents didn’t clue me in on this information. Then again if they had, I may not be living my current life, so it is best I didn’t know.
The great part is now, my girls are growing up with this theory to help them navigate their futures.
Tabitha has already caught on and is always complaining to me that I should have married someone skinnier because then she wouldn’t have to worry about her weight. She is on a mission to marry a skinny guy because as she tells me all the time ” I have to give my kids a chance at having a decent body.” Of course in her teenage mind, being thin is the most important thing in the world. If only life were that simple. I am skinny therefore I am happy. Wishful thinking!
I was thinking she should focus on avoiding guys whose father’s have addictions, learning disabilities, are really rude and loud, watch football all weekend, are dishonest or philanderers. I mean we have got enough addiction and learning issues in our family that we have some left over to share with other families. Anyone want to share? Didn’t think so.
Of course there are always exceptions to this rule, big time, but as for the physical genetics, I think it is pretty accurate.
So please girls listen to your Dad’s theory and take is seriously! Ha,Ha, so glad I don’t have to redo this whole finding a mate thing again. Lou’s theory is way more complicated than my college formula, he is “cute, nice and drives a convertible BMW.”
xoxo tiffani
This would be my husband’s worst nightmare….me turning out like Linda! LOL!
You would already look and act like her, so I think you are safe!!!!