If you don’t win are you a loser?

 

I personally think that if you try something and don’t win you aren’t a loser BUT Tabitha has a different opinion.  So here is the story.  A few weeks ago Tabitha decided to enter the photography show at OCC.  She is currently taking a beginning photo class and got inspired to enter 10 of the photos she took of Trinity into the contest because she loves money and first prize was $125.

She isn’t a huge fan of school so I was really happy she was participating in something extra in her academic world.  She picked the photos and then found out they had to be mounted to be entered into the show.  UGH!  She showed up at Michael’s with her best smile and charmed the sweet dorky guy at the framing department to mount all of her photos within an hour.  She was nice enough to buy him lunch and a coffee, but I am guessing he was hoping she would ask for his number, but sorry dude, not gonna happen.  After she turned in the photos with the required fee, which she paid herself, I asked when she would find out if she won.  “I have no idea, Mom, just leave it alone.”

A few weeks later she mentioned someone in her class told her that one of her photos was hanging up in the exhibit and she had made the top 100 out of 600 photos.  Of course she never went to see the photo herself she just heard through the grapevine.  I was very happy for her even though she seemed surprised that she made the cut.  I don’t know why she was surprised because whenever she puts her mind to anything she succeeds.  I am thinking she is so lucky she should  head over to gamevillage.com for a game of bingo.

After my Mom(Nana) harassed her all week about the show, she finally admitted they were announcing the winners Monday night at 6:30p.m.   Nana was all fired up to go and arranged for Tabitha to pick her and Grandpa up, go to the show and then have Tab drive them to a Christmas party they planned on attending.  I called Tabitha at 5:00 and said her sisters and I would go too if she wanted.  Trinity was the muse for all the photos so she was super excited and got dressed in a cool outfit right away.

Tabitha came home from work and declared, “I’m not going!”

me:  “Why?”

tab:  “I told Nana and Grandpa they couldn’t come and I don’t want to go either.”

me:  “Are you worried you won’t win?”

tab:  “No, I just don’t care and it makes me too nervous.”

You may not know this but Tabitha has anxiety issues so at that moment I knew I had to force her to go.

me  “It doesen’t matter if you don’t win, you can go and support everyone else who entered.”

Tiara was in quite the mood and kept throwing crap all over the house so I was super stressed about taking her out but I knew I didn’t have a choice.  Lou was at work and my mother in law was out of town so we either brought Tiara or didn’t go at all.  I did a small prayer that Tiara would behave and not cause a scene at the photo awards ceremony and got her dressed in a decent outfit.

I finally convinced Tabitha we should go as it was rude not to attend.  Her Carden Hall schooling goes against any acts of rudeness.

As we all piled into the Prius, Tabitha sat in the back with Trinity and was a mess.  She didn’t want to go and kept telling me to turn around and go home.  She had the same look on her face as she did before every volleyball game she ever played.  Terror, fear, anxious, dread, stressed, what ever you want to call, but it is her signature look when she doesn’t want to do something and is about to fall asleep to avoid the event.

We walked into the OCC building and it was so cool.  I had no idea the art building was so fabulous and I immediately wanted to enroll in a class.  I am a freak about school, I love school.  The minute I walk onto any campus I feel at home and feel inspired to start learning. 

We took the elevator to the second floor and I saw a group of people gathered around her teacher as he was explaining how they determined who won.  Apparently it was a juried show, which means it was judged by professionals in the community, not just the OCC staff.  They were awarding 2 honorable mentions, third, second and first prizes for entries in 3 different classes.

Tabitha had already warned me that if they called her name, pretend she wasn’t there because she refused to walk up in front of the group and accept an award and don’t clap for her if she wins anything.

OK, yeah right Tab.

He announced the winners from the first grouping and then as he started the second grouping I could tell by Tabitha’s face this was the category her pictures were in.  I was trying to act nonchalant and after she didn’t win an honorable mention I was getting a little nervous she wouldn’t win anything.  I really felt in my heart she would win something but I wasn’t sure if it was Mommy wishful thinking or a real instinct.  When she didn’t win third place or second place, I really started to sweat and then I saw the teacher look over at us.  At that moment, I knew she was going to win first place.  I couldn’t believe it, I felt so proud for her.  And guess what?  I was right, she won first place and she was SHOCKED!

She actually walked up to the front to accept her award and we clapped despite her warnings.  She looked so startled and surprised and on the way home we talked about why she was so worried.  I tried to explain that just because you enter a competition for something like that doesn’t mean you are a loser if you don’t win an award.   It is a learning experience, it’s about putting yourself out there and trying new things.  Her response:

“You are so wrong mom!  The definition of a loser means you didn’t win, you lost, you suck!  If I hadn’t won an award I would have been a loser and I hate being a loser.” 

Well, OK.  I am not sure where she learned this because I don’t think I convey that to my girls, but who knows I could and not even realize it.  Oh, the trials and tribulations of parenting!

 Happy Wednesday and stay positive during this holiday season as it is crunch time.

 

xoxo tiffani

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