Have you found your passion?

I think one of the hardest things in life is to find something you are passionate about.  As a child I was always good at stuff but never great or passionate about anything.  I loved school and always received good grades, but never straight  A’s.  I liked swimming when I was younger but then I quit after I lost a few races and my shoulders started to get big.  Way to much of a narcissist back then. 

I finally found ballet in 7th grade and stuck with it all through high school and really loved it but I am not sure it was my passion.  I was always envious of the kids who knew what they loved, whether it was drama, art, sports, music or the drive to always achieve the best grades.    It’s like those kids who know what they want to be in 5th grade and actually follow their dreams all through college.  How do they now at such a young age what they like?  Growing up I never had an answer to the question “What do you want to be when you grow up” except, “be a model”.  What a pathetic aspiration but so fitting for the way I grew up in a family that was rather obsessed with looking good.  Past that answer, I had nothing.

As a result of my own journey in searching for a passion, I have always tried to help my girls figure out what they really enjoy doing in their free time.  I really don’t care what it is as long as it isn’t watching TV or playing computer games. 

I can be a volleyball mom, drama mom, chess club mom, cross country mom, tennis mom, band mom or academic decathlon mom, it really doesn’t matter to me as long as my girls are happy and motivated to do something.  When Tabitha was a child she was naturally talented in sports so she gravitated in that direction and we were avid supporters of her sports.  She was a born a gifted athlete but I don’t think she ever really loved any sport she ever played.  I used to beg her to quit soccer even though she was constantly being recruited by many different clubs for her goalie abilities, but she had grown to hate soccer. I still have some friends that reminense about Tabitha and her goalkeeping skills, they were devastated when she quit.  Why do something you hate even you happen to be good at it? I don’t see any point unless you want to spend you life doing stuff you hate.

She finally switched to volleyball which was better than soccer but still not great.  She was super great at shot put and discus but she hated both of those!  Her track coach stopped speaking to her when she refused to do track her senior year, he was devastated.  I had dreams of her going to college and playing a sport but once she graduated high school she never played another sport again and is almost repulsed by the thought of sports.  Sad considering she spent all her free time from age 5-18 playing some type of sport and yet she doesn’t like them anymore. 

Trinity wasn’t born a gifted athlete like Tabitha so I have made more of an effort to try and push her towards other interests.  Art, music, dance, softball, choir, girl scouts, anything she enjoys.  She is currently loving gymnastics and tries out for everything offered at her school. which is surprising but makes me happy.  As a result she is in the choir but each time they perform she looks miserable and tortured.  I begged her not to do it again this year, but she insisted.  She has agreed to move on next year since I can’t bear to see her glum look on the bleachers as she yawns between songs..  She also tried out for the school musical this year, which I have been dreading.  She constantly complains about the long rehearsals because she has a very small non speaking part so she spends lots of time just sitting around and waiting.  Every time she comes home from a practice she is negative Nellie.

Last night was the first performance and I had prepared myself for the worst.  I cannot tell you how shocked I was on so many levels to discover the musical was absolutely fabulous and Trinity was obviously having a great time performing.  My Mom and I kept looking at one another shaking our heads and saying “Is that Trinity on stage?”  I felt like a huge door had opened and realized we may have found something other than gymnastics Trinity likes.  I left the play on cloud nine just knowing my kid had a blast doing something new and was good at it. 

Watching you child engaging in an activity while having fun is one of the best things in the world, at least for me. Happy kid= Happy Mommy and this Mommy is really happy right now!

 

xoxo tiffani