Apparently I have been grumpy and very uptight according to my sweet husband, Lou. I’m not sure if I totally believe him or not BUT when your significant other of almost 28 years makes a declaration about your mood, I have learned to listen, ponder and consider the thought that he might be right. This is a very difficult concept for most people, including myself, but because I trust Lou and he loves me more than anyone else in the world, I have to consider he could be right. “Have I been moody?”
Certainly possible but why? Maybe because I’m obsessed with promoting Loving Tiara and it’s not always fun work. A huge possibility this is the source of my mood. I often feel like a twenty-one-year-old waitress who moved from Kansas at eighteen years old to chase her dream of becoming a famous actress and she has yet to land a role. Creating a best selling book is like finding a needle in a haystack, nearly impossible, but there is still hope. As most of you know, I can find hope in the direst of situations but that doesn’t mean I still don’t get grumpy, moody and frustrated.
Maybe I’m grumpy because I’m a 50-year-old woman in menopause and while in the midst of a hot flash Lou asked if I could give him tickles on his neck? Hmmm, I would rather smash his head in with my ugg slipper at that moment but instead, I take a deep breath, peel off my second layer of clothing and say nicely: “sure babe.” I have to dress in layers at all times to accommodate the onslaught of heat at any given moment. On a funny side note, I have found that I can’t go in an Uber without declaring to the driver within 30 seconds, “I’m in menopause, so can you please pump up the air?” Last month I took 3 Ubers over the course of an evening with friends and each time we got in the car, I announced that we were all in menopause. My friends were like:
“Why do you keep announcing that to every driver, and speak for yourself!”
“It’s kinda funny and I need the air turned up,” I said while laughing.
friends: “You could just ask him to turn up the air without telling him about your menopause.”
me: “That’s no fun. They love hearing all our crazy truths.”
Back to Lou and my moods…
When Lou got home from work I started telling him about my day which was very different than usual. I normally wake up, juice 2 bunches of celery, down the juice, make our different coffees, make breakfast, feed the dog, clean up whatever mess Stella left on the doggie pads during the night, wake up Trinity, make her breakfast, pack Lou’s lunch for work, bid them both good-bye and then walk Stella. I then go for a long walk with a friend, go to a long-spine class or walk alone. After my exercise I return home, clean up the rest of the house and myself for the day ahead. From about 11 am to 3 pmish I usually sit behind my computer “working.” Working on ways to promote my book, responding to emails, writing, researching, updating my website, posting and things like that. I then usually take a break and do a few errands only to return home to either cook dinner if Lou is coming home or go back to work. Trinity will usually show up for a few minutes after school, spare me a few moments of conversation and then head out to study, work or hang with friends until 7:30 or 8:00.
Yesterday I came home from a meeting about my book event tomorrow and I found Tabitha at the house doing laundry. She wasn’t feeling great and was in need of some Mom time. So instead of working, I sat with her on the couch talking. After she started to feel better, we made a trip to Walmart in Irvine, to walk around looking at all the stuff because she had never been there before. After dropping me off at 5:30 she went home for the night.
When Lou came home from work and I told him about my day he said:
“You seem so much happier today!”
“Really? I don’t feel happier. I’ve been worrying about Tabi.”
“Well your energy is much calmer and you don’t seem so uptight.”
I thought about what he said for a moment.
“I guess that’s because I was taking care of my “baby” today and not working.”
Taking care of my girls is what I do best and love the most. Food for thought. I am a born caretaker and lately, I haven’t been using my best talent. Maybe that’s why I have been more irritated? The girls are “adulting” and don’t need Lou and me in an all-consuming kind of way. Do I need to do more caretaking? Let me think….. NO!
I miss spending time taking care of my girls and yesterday was nice but I have other talents God wants me to explore and challenge myself with.
Now that we are talking about caring, love, and families, let’s talk about Valentine’s Day. Are you a fan? Because I’m possibly one of the most unromantic women in the world, I could care less about Valentine’s day. I love hearts, pink, red and white splashed together in happy designs, but that’s about it. I say ditch Valentine’s day and show love to your people every day, not just on February 14.
When the girls were growing up I always made a heart-shaped yellow cake with chocolate frosting, bought them a small gift and Lou a card. I would then bake cookies and deliver them to the rest of my family with homemade valentines made out of dollies, that was fun! Holidays are always more fun with little children running around excitedly.
This year Lou is getting a card and the girls got a new pair of pajama’s from Walmart that Tabitha and I picked out together yesterday. I didn’t wrap them or give them a card, I just purchased Tabitha’s and handed Trinity hers when she came home last night. No hoopla here, it’s like I’ve become a scrooge. The queen of holiday decor doesn’t even put up a Valentine’s wreath on the front door anymore! I need a grandbaby to spoil, then I will get excited again.
When discussing Valentine’s or our anniversary Lou loves to tease his coworkers in the following way:
female co-worker: “Louis, what are you doing for your wife for Valentine’s day?”
Lou: “Ohhh, I don’t know what she has planned for me, I’m so excited!”
female co-worker looking dumbstruck and a little shocked, “Arent’ you planning something for her?”
Lou: “Oh no, I let her make big plans and surprise me,” he says while smiling and looking really excited.
Female co-worker usually walks away confused and thinking: “Wow Lou is going to be in big trouble with his wife.”
The funny part is Lou never tells them he is kidding and that I would be mad if he planned something. He thinks it’s hilarious and he knows that if he brings me flowers or candy I will be so annoyed because I don’t want him to waste money on something like that. As he tells me almost daily: “You are so not easy.”
And I always respond the same: ” I know.”
So that’s it for my post today, friends! As you are reading this I am preparing for my book event tomorrow. Trying to figure out what I should talk about and making some yummy food to share. I hope some of you are coming to meet me in person, give me a hug, have me sign your book and listen to me talk.
If you have any good questions for me that you think the people attending would love to hear about, send them to me. I could use your help.
Happy Valentine’s Day…..
Live, Love, and Laugh like it’s your last…
xoxo tiffani
