Feeling panicky

SATURDAY 6:30am

It is Saturday morning and I just woke up.

I have a list a mile long of potential “to -do” items that would make my house even cleaner before it hits the MLS on Monday.

My whole body aches, especially my hands and feet.  I am exhausted and stressed and keep wondering if I really need to do anything on my list.  Will it make a difference?  Is the fact that I have new caulking around my stainless steel kitchen sink going to be a deciding factor for a buyer?  Probably not but what if they are super clean people and they see some of the black gunk around the edges.  They will add that to their list of things that need to be fixed.  The longer their list is the less they are willing to pay.

OK.

Now that I just wrote that sentence I know I need to complete all the little things on my “to-do” list.

Our agent, Pat, keeps telling me not to stress.  He says “the market will let us know” how this is going to turn out.

I feel tears coming to my eyes and now I am crying for some reason.  I don’t really want to move and yet I desperately do want to move and ultimately we will move but how will it all unfold is still unclear to me.  I need to know how things will go.  I think I know how this will go, but what if I am wrong and the whole thing sucks?

Whenever Tiara is sick in the hospital I always know if she is headed to the ICU or home.  Medical stuff is my expertise, house sales is not.  When your kid is chronically sick you only need to worry about getting them better.  Selling a house has so many variables of which I have no control and I guess that is what makes me nervous.

 

SUNDAY 7: 30am

It’s Father’s Day and Lou and I have been up since 5:30am.  Seems like the only time we get alone is when the kids are asleep.  Since it is officially summer in our house, Trinity went to bed the same time as me last night, so we have to find time to ourselves in the early morning hours.

You may be wondering how we are dealing as a couple with the stress of Tiara and selling our house.  Oddly enough whenever we have really big stress issues in our house Lou and I get along better than ever.  With each new obstacle our relationship strengthens and we get closer.  We both put down our defenses, don’t blame on another and we both always try to be more sensitive to each others needs.  It sometimes feels like we are tittering on the edge of a cliff and if we aren’t careful one of us will lose our balance and fall over the edge.  Since we don’t have time for either of us to fall,  we work together to keep the balancing act going.

Real life worries always remind us that being together and caring for our children are ultimately what is most important.  Of course as the parents of Tiara it is hard to ever forget about “real life” worries, but even we sometimes drift

As of right now, I can only think, eat and sleep this house ordeal.  Every moment I spend cleaning something Tiara spends more time destroying something else.

Yesterday I power washed the back patio while Tiara knocked the screen off the hinges.  Then she dumped her whole box of crayons all over the patio while I was putting away the hose.  As I tried to get the scuff marks off the floor from her chair she knocked her bar stool into the counter messing up the paint again.  It is one thing after another and I am losing my patience.  It’s like she is trying to sabotage my efforts.

I am used to her destroying everything and normally I just ignore it and move on.  Now I can’t. 

So I need this house to sell in a week and get the heck out of here so I don’t have to keep retouching up every surface constantly.

Please send me good thoughts and prayers for this house to sell fast at asking price.  I don’t normally pray for help with financial issues because it seems odd to me, but this time I am!

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

xoxo tiffani