Everyday I say…..

I am so tired!  Apparently this is the phrase I have been saying since I was 2 years old.  My Mom recently told me that she used to pray when she woke me up in the morning that I would say anything but “I’m tired!”  Apparently she can’t remember a morning I didn’t say that same phrase.

On Sunday, I was so tired during church I kept thinking I was going to fall asleep and then as we walked through the mall I was just waiting until Tiara declared it was time for us to go home.  Why?  Because as always I was tired.  My Mom said what she always says, “you are always tired, Tiffani!”

The weird thing is that I have been trying to think back on my life before Tiara was born and remember if I have always been tired every moment of every day or it has been only the past 14 years. 

My Mom claims I used to come home so exhausted from Kindergarten that I insisted on taking a nap before I ate my lunch,  I don’t have many memories of how I felt from as a child but as a teenager, I always remember feeling exhausted.

I hated when everyone stayed up to watch Saturday Night Live and talked about it on Monday at school because no matter how hard I tried I always fell asleep before the show even started.  I was lucky if I made it through the whole episode of Fantasy Island.  Remember that show was on after The Love Boat on Saturday nights?  Such good shows!

Back in college I really had to work hard at staying up late because everyone stayed super late.  I do remember always telling my roommates that I had to go to bed by 2am or I wouldn’t  be able to function for days.  So even when I was out partying and having a blast, I always got my bed to butt before 2am, what a weirdo!

Once I met Lou, I used to pray I could function on as little sleep as him.  We would go out partying, fall asleep around my witching hour (2am) and he would be up and ready for the gym at 6am.  WHAT, how is that even possible?  I used to go home from his house in the morning (Shhh, don’t tell my girls) with intentions of going straight to class but most days I just crawled back into my bed at the sorority house and didn’t wake up until noon.  My grades fell to an all time low that first semester we met in college.

After Tabitha was born I drank diet coke all day long to keep me awake so I know I always felt tired back then.  Even though I was always tired I still managed to work a full time job and go law school at night.  On the weekends Tabitha and I gardened, walked, and did errands.  Once Tiara was born I took on a whole new level of exhaustion which has never ceased.  The sad thing is now that I am getting older sometimes I can’t fight through my tiredness.  Like today for example I fell asleep while I was reading Tiara books and only woke up because her caretaker knocked on the front door. 

I felt like I could sleep until tomorrow.

So I have decided that if a Genie in a bottle ever washes up on the beach and offers to grant me a wish which can only be for myself not one of my children or husband, you know if I could give them away I would so there would have to be a stipulation that the wish must be solely for me, I will ask to “never be tired but always be able to fall asleep at night”!

Have a great day!

 

xoxo tiffani