Last Saturday was my first official book signing and if you judged the event by the number of books I sold, signed or new people I met, it was a complete and total flop!!! Who showed up? My Family. Tabitha, Trinity, Chandler, Sophia (Trinity’s friend), Grandma Cindy and my best friend Laura. Lou was working or he would have been there too. Laura bought 2 books even though I think she has already purchased 8 through Amazon. She keeps buying them and giving them away to support her pathetic BF. I know I’m not pathetic, I’m just being funny.
Despite only selling two books, I realized it was very successful for the following reasons:
First reason, I was scared to ask Molly at the Monogram Store to let me set up shop in the middle of her store, but I did it anyway. She graciously said yes but warned me that Saturdays were very slow and she didn’t think I would sell many books. Despite her warning, I decided to move forward because I had to try. Obviously she was correct but you never know the outcome until you try.
Second reason: Tabitha and I had fun coming up with my book signing decor, and both my girls helped me with all the logistics.
I have been struggling with photoshop, picmonkey and canva for years. I have dreamed of becoming proficient with a graphic design program. I wanted to give away a cool bookmark at my signing and because I couldn’t design one myself, I begged Trinity to create one for me. When I was uploading it onto Vista print I found out it didn’t cost extra to have graphics on the back. Now what? Trinity wasn’t home and I didn’t want the back blank if I could add more stuff so I worked on designing the back myself. Four hours later and in the midst of a total freak out, Tabitha stopped by and gave me some serious pointers on how to use Canva better. A few more hours later and I finished it! Yay me! I ended up using Trinity’s original design concept but I recreated the entire bookmark myself because I was I couldn’t figure out how to edit hers. Sad but true.
Anyways, this was a huge success and I’m beyond excited about my new talent. I’m so excited that I woke up the other morning at 3:00 am and couldn’t go back to sleep because I had so many things I needed to design on Canva for my website and branding. Lou woke up at 7 am and I was like the energizer bunny.
“Oh my God honey, you won’t believe all the things I made this morning! I designed a poster, I created a new logo, I designed new banners for my Facebook, blah, blah, on and on I went”
“I’m so happy for you babe, but I just to get my coffee before you show me everything.” I sometimes forget not everyone is a morning person.
Now for the really good reasons why I think the book signing ended up being a success. After I loaded up all my books, my new round cocktail table that folds up (it is really cool) and my matching stool into the car, I received a text from Trinity.
“Mom, I was just listening to your podcast in the car and started crying when you said we are amazing. I love you so much and you mean the world to me, I wouldn’t have wanted my childhood any other way and am so glad that you’re my mom.”
Awww, I started crying tears of joy. That text was better than selling 100 books.
After I got home and unloaded my car I wanted to eat a dozen donuts from Oh Those Donuts but instead I took a nap and slumbered away my disappointment. When I woke up I decided the pity party was over and I needed to go outside and release some energy. I drove to the garden center to get some plants because I had ripped out a huge hedge the week before and hadn’t dealt with the gapping bare spot in the front landscape.
As I started digging holes, sweating away the rest of my disappointment Tabitha called.
“Mom.”
“Hey, babe.”
“I want to tell you something.”
“What?”
“What you did today, putting yourself out there was huge. I’m so proud of you. Most people wouldn’t do what you did and because you did it, the day was a huge success. You will never have to have another first book signing.”
A new set of tears sprang from my eyes.
“Thanks, Hon. That means so much to me, but… I really felt like I failed.”
“You didn’t fail Mom! You tried, so you succeeded. What you did was amazing.”
Awww, it felt like all the parenting talks Lou and I gave the girls throughout their lives worked. They heard us! Happy dance for Tiffani and Lou.
I decided to give myself Sunday off and after church, I did consume 2, not 12 amazing donuts.
Monday I woke up and realized I needed to revise my plan for my next book signing on February 15. I needed to offer something, give people a reason to show up whether or not they have read my book. Who really wants to show up and stare at me as I messily write my name in their book. No one! I’m not Brad Pitt, Elon Musk, or Martha Stewart, I’m a 50-year-old mom who has written a book that people are really loving but I’m not famous. I’m famous for cleaning up horrible poop messes but that’s about it.
While writing Loving Tiara I learned that most authors never sell more than 1000 copies. I’ve sold 280 books since November 20, not great but not horrible. I told myself that Loving Tiara would become a bestseller despite the horrendous odds and now to make it happen. Telling yourself something is a lot easier than actually making it happen.
After talking to Tabitha, Lou and Kathy who owns Seaside Gallery I came up with a plan. Instead of just signing books, I decided to rent out the gorgeous courtyard connected to the store, host lunch, give an inspirational talk, take questions and finally sign books. A PUBLIC SPEECH, HELP!!!!
After I finalized the plan on Tuesday, I walked around the house with my hands pressed against my temples loudly asking God, ” WHY AM I DOING THIS?”
“I’M SCARED! I DON’T WANT TO GIVE A TALK. WHY DID I COMMIT TO THIS?” Over and over I kept asking and yelling to him.
Lou was off on Tuesday and wasn’t surprised by my reaction.
“You will do great Tiffani! I have complete confidence in you.”
“Thanks, hun, but I’m still scared. I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m scared!”
“You know how to talk to a crowd, you gave the eulogy at Tiara’s funeral and had people laughing. You’ll do great.”
A few minutes after my freak out…. Deep breath, big sigh, and then I changed my tune and started talking to myself positively.
” You have already committed Tiffani you can do it. You talk to yourself all day, you might as well share your thoughts. You’ll be fine. If you don’t start offering speaking engagements your book will never become a bestseller. This is an opportunity to share your story and what you’ve learned taking care of Tiara. You can do it. ” I talked myself into it until the panic started to subside.
Wednesday morning I woke up a little excited. The fear was starting to move behind me. I spent Wednesday designing a new invite, reaching out to the local press, of course only one returned my email but I’m forging ahead. I printed out some paper invites and passed them out at SOUL today.
So you are all invited next Saturday. You can show up and see in person if I completely flop while giving my talk. I suspect I’ll do fine, hopefully. Fingers crossed and lots of prayers!!! Email me if you are coming so I have enough food. I will be making my famous chocolate chip cookies if that makes the offer more appealing?
I think my inspirational talk will focus on fear because I believe it is the emotion that prevents us from reaching our dreams. Whether your dream is to lose 50 pounds, run a half marathon, become president of fortune 500 company, or become a movie star fear of failure gets in our way. We make excuses why we can’t do something when in reality we are scared of failing. My first book signing was a failure but look at all the good that came out of that failure.
I’m sharing all of this so you all know that I too am scared. None of this is easy, but if I can do it, so can you. Life is hard, don’t pretend it’s not. But don’t be afraid to fail, look stupid, or be embarrassed because we are humans and humans mess up. But with each mistake, we learn.
Live, love and laugh like it’s your last…
xoxo tiffani
Speaking in front of strangers can be scary but just be yourself and people will love you. You have already done the hardest thing that most humans can ever imagine, so public speaking will be a cake walk. Imagine TT in the audience with her big smile all excited because you are talking about her. Wish I could be there. xoxo
Thanks Mars, great advice!!!
I Always do a q&a too because it takes the nerves down to zero. Clearly you’re the only expert on your life, so it’s not like there’s a question you can’t answer. Also maybe try and team up with another Person/speaker with a similar but unique set of circumstances (who is also very involved in their community-support groups, etc). it might add a new potential audience, you would be sharing the load, commiserating over the stress and hey worse case scenario is their moms, dads, sister, friends, brothers and cousins might come to hear them and then they would get to hear you . i don’t personally know, but I would suspect that raising a child with medical, mental and physical challenges can be very lonely at times and if there were a way you could connect with them, that might be another potential audience. Ok off soap box now.
I forgot GOOD LUCK, YOU’RE GOONG TO DO GREAT!
Thanks for all the great advice Karen!!! xoxo