Day 1 of the cleanse and it’s over!

So far so good in the cleanse department, as of 4 pm on day 1.  I skipped my wine last night in preparation for the cleanse and as a result had a worse night sleep than normal.    Every time Tiara moved, I jumped up to see what was wrong and it felt like I was awake the whole night, even though I know I wasn’t.  I woke up to a messy kitchen, courtesy of Tabitha and Lou’s late night quesadilla making.  I could barely see as I heated up the required 2 cups of hot water with a slice of fresh ginger and squeezed lemon.  As I drank my cleansing hot water I made Lou his espresso, while cursing him under my breath.  Ohhh, that was painful.

While waiting for the espresso to finish I loaded my blog onto Facebook and read several comments from regular readers.  All I could read was “coffee, coffee, don’t give up the coffee.”  Right then and there I decided my life is hard enough, I have to have my coffee.  I will just trade my normal 2% milk for unsweetened coconut milk, which is considered non-dairy and that should be fine.  I rationalized that I had given up wine the night before so it was a fair trade.  I was rather shocked when I took the first sip because it really tasted weird with the coconut milk.  UGH, who cares, my eyes are open enough to start making my first batch of smoothies.

As I started pulling out all the produce, Tabitha emerged from her room and started stalking me about the cleanse.  “So what is our first drink?  OMG, this water is disgusting, it tastes like a**!  Mom, are you trying to kill me?” 

It was nonstop and then I reminded her she volunteered to join me and she could stop anytime she wanted.  I started silently praying she would quit because I wasn’t sure if I would survive the day with her.  Tuesday’s are her day off, so she was planning on spending the whole day with Tiara and I for our first day of the cleanse. 

The first drink was good and I had no problem getting it down.  Tabitha was a different story.  She forced the drink down with more dramatics than a Broadway star.  We then went for a walk and she decided to push Tiara and run both islands while I walked with my friend.  She was so exhausted I thought I might have to resuscitate her on the way home.  Once we got home it was already time for our second juice.  As I went to work juicing our second concoction she moaned from the couch. 

Tiara fell asleep and my Mother in law came to watch her so I went to do my errands.  Tabitha decided to tag along and talk about how she was going to die of starvation and it was all my fault.  By the time we got home at noon, she had already decided she would eat a salad for lunch in place of  the juice.  Fine by me, as I wasn’t sure how much more I could handle of her dramatics.  For myself, I was feeling good.   Not hungry, not grumpy but I did notice my stomach was getting a little bloated feeling.

The lunch juice was supposed to be tomatoes, red onion, bell peppers, lemon, celery and parsley but I just couldn’t do it.  I don’t eat raw onions, hate bell peppers and aren’t a huge fan of raw tomatoes so I improvised, second time today.  I made a combination of kale, banana, lemon, coconut milk and ice.    At this point I am starting to feel really bloated and very gassy but I haven’t been using the bathroom more than normal.  Hmmm.  It’s as if all the gas is going to start coming out my ears and throat. 

Tabitha decides to forfeit the lunch juice and eats a veggie burger salad instead.  I am not even feeling tempted at this point.  She leaves and goes to an appointment and Tiara and I get some stuff done around the house.  She returns from her appointment and is delirious as you can see from the picture.  More dramatics, cursing and pretending she will die any moment.  Tt and I leave to pick up Trin from school and when we get back home I decide my stomach is so gassy I could fly away and yet nothing is coming out.  The pain is getting worse but I’m not hungry.  So not hungry that I decide to skip the afternoon juice and just eat the allowed veggies for dinner.

3:35pm  Tabitha declares she is officially done with the cleanse and shoves an avocado in her mouth with pure joy.  I laugh and am grateful she has quit.  She was in such bad withdrawal from sugar and crap I was worried I would have to take her to the ER if she stuck with the cleanse much longer.

 

 

I start writing this post, Trinity is doing her homework and Tiara is doing her school stuff with her teacher and I start feeling worse by the minute.  I roasted up some asparagus for dinner for myself and then lift the lid on the 10 hour chicken I made for the rest of the family and felt a little weak in the knees.  Protein never smelled so good.   I take Trin and Tiara to the park to play, which we haven’t done in months and sometime during that trip I start to question the cleanse.  I am feeling the exact same amount of tiredness as I always do and yet my stomach is killing me.  What to do, what to do?

Once we get home and I dish up everyone’s dinner plate I decide I should eat some chicken with my salad and asparagus.  I am thinking my gut really needs something to balance out all the gas.  I have never been an extremest about anything and the whole cleanse was starting to work against me.  I sat down with the girls, sans Tabitha, she was sleeping off her stress from attempting the cleanse, and asked Trinity what she thought I should do. 

Trinity said this, “Mom, this is so silly, you already eat healthy and now you feel sick!  What is the point, you should quit.”  I decided right then and there she was right and I would quit.  Of course I contemplated sticking with it just so I could post my success story but then I decided, who the heck cares?   My life is hard enough, why am I torturing myself? 

So I officially quit at 7pm when I opened my wine.  I have decided to stay away from gluten and sugar for now which will keep me eating extra healthy, but without the extreme gas pains.

Have a great day!

xoxo tiffani