Are you a work widow?

 

The other day my friend offered to help me set up for the Tuberous Sclerosis picnic in August because I commented to her, “Lou will probably be working and not able to attend the picnic this year”.  She said “Oh, I know what it is like to be a work widow, I will help!”  A work widow?  I had never heard that expression before, but I immediately loved it.  It reminded me of all the women I always hear complaining that there husbands are always working.

I have always found it fascinating when the women around town drive their Range Rovers, have full time help, and work out several hours everyday to keep their perfect figures, yet complain there hubbies are never home. Well, someone has to pay for everything!  As a child, my mother drilled that concept into my head.  “Your father has to work to support us, so that is why he isn’t home.”  I so appreciate her always telling me that because I always knew he didn’t want to be away from us by choice, but he had to work. 

Currently because of Lou’s new job, I am having to impart those same pearls of wisdom to my girls.   They love the new dealership and are super excited for their Dad, but yesterday was a sad a day for them. 

Louie left for work at 8:00am and at 9:30pm still wasn’t home.  Tiara refused to go to sleep and was sitting by the front door at 9:45 last night, crying, “Dad, Dad, home, home!!!”   Every time I told her, “he is still at work,” she yelled at me “make money, make money!” Clearly she gets the concept.  Tabitha finally convinced her to get into bed, wherein she immediately fell dead asleep as it was way past her bedtime.  Trinity cried because her Dad wasn’t home to tuck her in and she was stuck with me.  To be honest, he is so much more fun than me and always tells them good stories.  I am so burned out by 9:00 at night, I am so not fun.  And last but not least, when Tabitha came through the door at 9:30 and almost smashed into the waiting Tiara, she said “Where’s Dad?  I brought him some food.”  Whenever she goes out to dinner with Nana and Grandpa, she saves half her dinner and brings it home to Louie because he loves “doggie bags”.  “He is still at work, honey, he won’t be home until at least 10:00pm.”  After a few minutes of sitting with me on the couch, pretending to watch TV, she got up and said she was tired and couldn’t wait any longer. 

And so the whole family was asleep before Louie finally got home at 11:00pm.  The thing is this, when Lou first started in the car business as a salesman he had horrendous hours, but he always had a day off during the middle of the week.  He spent that time with Tabitha taking her to the park, Fundazzle, Chuck E Cheese or some fun place like that.  After Tiara was born I became a stay at home mom and he was already a manager.  He still worked lots of hours, but he had every other weekend off or Friday and Saturday.  Either way he made most of the girl’s soccer, softball, and volleyball games, which made all the difference to them.  Life was good at work but during the recession the car business took a big hit and so did our finances.

As a result, we have been cutting, cutting and cutting stuff out of our budget ever since, and have made it so far.  Yet, we are still hoping for a miracle when our interest only loan ends next year.   Apparently, we are upside down in our house, which prohibits us from refinancing unless we can come up with several 100,00$ to pay down our loan.  Since that isn’t going to happen anytime soon, I am just keeping my fingers crossed that it will all work out somehow.  I hear this is a very common story.

I know keeping your fingers crossed and praying for a miracle could be considered a rather insane approach to tackling your financial problems, but what other choice do I have?  My hubby is working 15 hour days busting his bootie to pay our bills, I am blogging, Tabi works full time and pays for all her own clothes, nails, hair, food and partying (apparently a large expense), Trinity is getting ready for 5th grade and Tiara is destroying everything in site and keeping us all on our toes.

And here is the crux of my whole post today.  If if were not for Tiara and her Tuberous Sclerosis, autism, developmental delay, seizures, and more things than I can list, I would never have learned to live in the moment.  Nor would I have been able to ride through the recession, without living every day in a state of panic.  Because of all she has taught me, and everyone in our family, I am able to weather the tough spots and keep going, without constantly living in fear of the unknown.

Life as an adult is really so much harder than I expected it to be.  I always imagined myself sitting in some big office with a view, doing what, I have no idea, but I doing something important and making lots of money.  Obviously my life is completely and utterly opposite of the vision I had for myself as a child, but I guess life happens while we are making plans.  Or so I have been told.  I never could have imagined my life would turn out like it has, but I love it and am a better for it.

Here’s to a wonderful weekend and the beginning of the Olympics!!!  I love watching the Olympics….