Are you wondering why I’m asking you this ridiculous question? This is why: A few weeks ago I was attending a concert in my church because they were unveiling the new organ. Apparently, our old organ was like a 1976 beat-up Toyota and the new organ is similar to a 2020 Porsche and our priest is beyond excited to show it off.
Anyways I was sitting in church waiting for the program to start and I saw him. “Him” is a man who either works or volunteers at our church, pretty much every day. Every time I see him, I always feel bad because I don’t know his name. He goes out of his way to greets every person within shouting distance. He often remarks on my smile but I have never bothered to ask his name. Just as I was thinking about not knowing his name, he walked over to my pew and said:
“Hi, It’s nice to see you! You know I have never asked your name but I always comment on your beautiful smile. Wh
“I’m Tiffani and I was just thinking how embarrassed I was that I didn’t know your name.”
“I’m Alan.”
“I’m so glad to finally know your name. Do you work here or are you volunteer?”
“I actually work here,” he said. He then went on to talk a little bit about his job working at the church and then said:
“I can’t get over your big smile. It lights up the room. You must be the
The happiest person in the world… Does such a person even exist? If so, are they listed in the Guinness Book of World Records?
I was dumbfounded. How do I respond? Do I laugh out loud? Laughing is my go-to defense mechanism after smiling but, he obviously didn’t know this about me or he wouldn’t have assumed I was the happiest person in the world because I’m always smiling.
I took a breath as I thought about a response and decided to remain quiet for once in my life. I just continued smiling and shrugged my shoulders as if saying” I have no idea?” We said good-bye to one another and the concert started.
As beautiful as the music was, I don’t think I’m meant to sit staring into space listening to choir music. It took all my strength not to doze off or get up for a pretend bathroom break. At least I was able to obsess on the proposition that I was potentially the happiest person in the world.
When I got home, I told Lou and Trinity the story about Alan. I then asked them both: “Am I a really happy person?” Lou laughed and Trinity said: “Oh Mom, you appear to be so happy in public, but not in the house!”
“Really, I’m not happy at home?” I asked.
“Not when you are screaming a profanity at Dad or telling me to GET-OUT and go to school.”
“Well, I’m teasing when I say those things. You know that.”
“I know you are teasing BUT you don’t say those things in
“Okay, I get that I act differently in public versus in our own home BUT am I really happy? I’m having a hard time with the question.”
“I have no idea Mom, you will have to figure that out for yourself, ” Trinity announced, as she quickly escaped to her room.
I kept pondering the question. Lou said he thought I was a happy person because I was grateful for my life. I knew he was right and often reflect on gratitude to keep me going through the days when I feel a bit down.
The real question is: How often does a person feel the emotion of being happy? It’s not a constant state. It comes and goes. It is fleeting and shows up in spurts, for only a few moments at a time. Like when I finished the first draft of my book, I felt thrilled/happy for several hours and then the “high” dissipated.
Just in case you needed an answer to Alan’s question, I’m not the happiest person in the world, nor do I know that person.
I will tell you that when I showed up to my DMV appointment yesterday, with my hair and make-up perfectly fixed to take a new license picture, I wasn’t happy when after waiting an hour, they announced the whole system was down. They gave us the option of waiting and hoping it would reboot itself or leaving. It was 3:30 pm and they had no way of rescheduling our appointments for the next day, so I left, without a plan.
As much as I try not to focus on my appearance and embrace my age, I struggle. I work so hard, not to care about what I look like, but I have to try consciously. I did go to my writer’s group the other night without a stitch of make-up on, and I was super proud of myself. Anyways, I have been dreading taking my new license picture for weeks, because my old picture looks good, which is a miracle.
So, I have been up since 5am, writing this and getting ready to look for some rugs online for a client. After this, I need to exercise and work on my book draft, but now I have to figure out which day I can waste waiting at the DMV all day. I have today, Thursday, Monday or Tuesday.
The DMV baffles my mind. Upon entering the building, it’s as if I have just entered a third world country where I have arrived to do mission work. It’s hot, it’s dirty, it’s chaotic, no one is happy. Is the DMV like this in other states or just California?
Anyways, that’s enough for today and I hope you have a wonder day!
xoxo tiffani
I love your smile 🙂