Of course I’ve missed you all but I am sorry to report the move was worse than I could have ever imagined. Lou and I have never been more physically and or emotionally challenged, as we are right now. We moved in to our new house a week and half ago, and I have just started to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Lou’s clothes are hanging in closet, mine are not. We set up a room for Tiara which she seems to really love, but despite this fact her behavior is the absolute worst I have ever seen.
I am scarred, scratched from forehead to ankles, bruised and I can’t get her to stop. In the past week, there isn’t a day that has gone by that someone hasn’t had to pull her off me at least twice a day. I can no longer take her for rides except for her lunch because she can’t be trusted. She hurts me when her food is involved.
Today I took her to Target for the first time in days and I wasn’t able to drive home because I saw her behavior escalating once again. Lou had to come home from work in the middle of his shift, to rescue me, again. This has become a daily occurrence. The psychiatrist has her on around the clock Ativan but even that isn’t working.
If you follow me on Facebook, you know that she eloped on our third night here and went missing for 10 minutes. She walked to the end of the cul de sac, went through the pass way, walked along the busy street and turned into the next cul de sac, where a neighbor saw her climbing into a parked black car. She must have thought it was my car. With the help of all the neighbors we found her before the police arrived but then she beat me up when we got home because I was crying hysterically from her being lost. She hates when I cries.
On a positive note, our new landlord allowed us to remove the carpeting and put in hardwood vinyl plank flooring which is a Godsend, but physically tearing out the carpet, cleaning the floor, and laying the new floor taxed my body to the max. It still hurts to lift my arms. Yes, Lou and I did it all ourselves.
Actually it feels like Lou and I have done everything ourselves except for the 10 hours of help from the professional movers and help from my mother in law and her fiance, we have done everything!
We had to secure the house with extra locks, fix the latches on the gates and add bolts so TT couldn’t escape again. Put up the trampoline, assembly the swing stand so she could still swing, fix all the broken dining rooms chairs she has trashed, along with packing and unpacking everything.
Enough complaining. We do love the new house and it is really starting to look like our home. During this transition Tabitha decided to fly the coop, so she didn’t move with us. She is now independent and loving it. I have been sleeping better as I am not constantly worried about her and she stops by for food and supplies, which I love. We do miss seeing her every morning and night, but at 21 it was the perfect time for her to do her own thing.
Trinity is now hanging solo with Tiara and I which is a difficult transition for her. She didn’t want to move, and has been upset with all the violence and changes. I tried to soften the stress of the move by ordering her the New American Girl doll, Isabelle, she has been coveting since January. I had it delivered the second day we were here and she was ecstatic. I also offered to buy her Apple TV tomorrow since it is still on sale at Target, another smile. Sometimes a little materialism makes a girl feel better.
As for keeping myself safe, I did speak with Tiara’s regional center caseworker and she is going to help me get more crisis intervention hours, asap. This is really going to be important for this week since Lou is traveling to Colorado for 36 hours for work. We are also going to try adding more medication starting today.
Ohhh, so that is what has been going on. I have forgotten to include so much, like the day she threw her ipod under the cheese freezer at Costco and while I was on hands and knees looking for it, she grabbed my hair and wouldn’t stop pulling until a gentle man intervened. I have so many of those stories I can’t even begin to recall them all.
Just know we have been holding on by a thread at the Goff home and prayers are always welcome.
Miss writing…. this felt good.