Growing up I was one of those people who couldn’t sleep in an unmade bed, a messy bed or any bed other than my own. I mean would have sleepovers with my friends but the next day I was trashed and needed a nap.
Ridiculous I know but in order for me to sleep, everything had to be perfect. Two pillows each propped in the correct position, comforter pulled down just so and perfectly clean sheets tucked and flattened. Now let’s jump to my current life which looks nothing like my youth.
The bed hardly ever gets made, the comforter is either on the ground or all on Tiara’s side and we don’t even bother making a bed with a top sheet. I give those to the Goodwill. If you happen to make the bed properly with a top sheet, Tiara gets all tangled up in it which makes her angry. An angry Tiara isn’t my favorite Tiara so I have given up on having a properly made bed. Just another item in the list of things I have given up trying to do.
My only requirement for sleep is I must have at least one of my soft fluffy pillows and a flat surface. I really enjoy 3 pillows, one under my head and one on each side of me but that isn’t always possible so if I have one I can sleep anywhere as long as I can lay down. The floor, the couch, Tabitha’s bed, Trinity’s bed, Lou’s bed, the closet, the hospital and even the kitchen floor. I guess this has something to do with my level of exhaustion?
Last night Tiara once again decided to get up at 2:30am and start wandering the house. She walked into the family room, plopped onto the couch and started asking for her grandmother (autism obsessions at their finest). Instead of trying to coax her back to bed, or turn on the TV for her or even discuss the matter with her I tried a new approach. I walked back into the bedroom, got her oxygen, grabbed my pillow and returned to the family room. I put her oxygen on and laid down on the couch. She fell asleep sitting up and I didn’t even bother to lay her down. Sorry Tiara but I couldn’t risk you waking up. I fell asleep on the couch and only woke up a few times to make sure she was still there.
Today has been another tough day because Tiara’s caretaker cancelled and Tiara was still in her agitated state. This time I ended up with a cut above my lip. She got me while I was trying to get the ativan in her mouth. I am looking pretty trashed at this moment. Our favorite cashier at Target gave me a sympathy smile today and said, ” You look pretty tired. Lucky you are so pretty and don’t need to wear make-up.”
Clearly she was delusional or just felt so bad for me she gave me a fake compliment. Either way, I thanked her and brought Tiara home only to end up with more scratches, popcorn all over the house and a thrown smoothie across my walkway.
Praying tomorrow goes better and that I get to take a shower at some point.