I heard a variation of this statement 3 different times this weekend and each time I heard it, I was baffled. How could a Mom not care?
Of course I know there are tons of horribly abusive “Mothers” and “Fathers” that exist in our society but I am not talking about those people. I am talking about three different Moms in our community whose daughters are friends with my daughters. I have met these girls. These are smart, kind and loveable girls. Girls who need their Mothers for guidance and support.
One Mother is consumed with her boyfriend and her life after divorce. She doesn’t have the time or the desire to talk to her adult daughter about her education or her future.
The other Mother I met years ago while volunteering at the high school. She too isn’t interested in spending time with her adult daughter. They live in the same home and don’t speak. They live separate lives, yet they are a family living under one roof.
And the last child, I have never met her mother. I have seen her in church once, but I have never spoken to her. She isn’t present on campus before or after school. She along with her siblings walk over to daycare each day after school. She is not allowed to be involved in the after school sports “because it is too much work for her parents.” Both her parents work and when they are all home at night together, no one spends time together. They each go their separate ways.
This poor child has tried several approaches to get her mother’s attention but none have worked so far. Her latest attempt involved not doing her homework and getting low grades. Her teacher figured it out before her Mother caught on. This breaks my heart. There is much more but I don’t want to give away this child’s identity so I will refrain from telling you more of the gruesome details.
Just so you know people, if you have kids you need to spend time with them. Children actually need their parents. Yes, I know you need to put food on the table and a roof over their head but the people I am talking about can easily provide all of these necessities of life without a problem.
And I don’t mean organize a play date or an activity during every waking moment they are with you. I mean one on one time. Sometimes it seems as if parents don’t even know how to spend time with their kids anymore. I know parents that always want a friend over for their child if they have any down time. It is so odd to me. Weekends will go by in our home and Trinity will go without playing with anyone except our family. Me, her Dad or her grandparents. We play cards, she crafts, she plays with Tiara, we cook together, we walk around the mall, go out to lunch, go for walks, visit the library or watch a movie together.
I sometimes feel as if our society has become very extreme in regards to family life. There are the families who are obsessed with every achievement or activity in their child’s life and then there are the parents who are too busy and or exhausted to care. I just wish there was more of a balance for the children of today. There are our future and yet so many of their lives are filled with chaos, stress, and loneliness. I worry.