This post is just another reality life blog story about me getting beat up by Tiara. This event happened Thursday night even though you aren’t reading this until at least Monday.
Thursday night’s Trinity has gymnastics at 6pm for which we leave at 5:45p.m.. I was hoping Lou would be home from work so I wouldn’t have to take Tiara out again but unfortunately he hadn’t made it home yet.
As we all loaded into the car, I almost had a panic attack as I sat in my seat because there was so much popcorn on the floor, I couldn’t see the floor mats. Three days in a row of spilled popcorn from Target and no vacuuming. A hideous sight. I realized that I couldn’t take it any longer so my plan was to drop Trinity off and swing by the self serve car wash on Bristol which is 2 blocks from gymnastics. Lou normally washes my car for me but as you know he was been working constantly so he hasn’t had the time.
Once at the car wash, I picked through the popcorn to collect the crayons on the floor in the front seat area. Whole crayons don’t vacuum up so easily plus I try not to destroy every vacuum I use which isn’t mine, so I am forced to sort through the popcorn before I vacuum. For some reason Tiara had decided to sit in the backseat this drive, which is very unusual for her, but I was really happy because it made cleaning up her normal passenger seat area a breeze. Once I got to the back, I started vacuuming around her feet. She started pulling my hair and I told her to stop repeatedly. She listened off and on but I was able to finish and didn’t think much about it. A little light hair pulling is not a big deal in my world.
And here was my mistake. After I put the vacuum away on the hook, I decided to pick up the loose crayons in the back seat area and place them in one of my Love Reusable bags. I didn’t need to do this, but I was enjoying my car getting clean and was eager to complete the whole interior. As I was doing this she grabbed a big chunk of my hair and started pulling forcefully. All of the sudden I realized I was in big trouble. I started demanding her to let go but she only tightened her grip. My face and chest were buried in her lap being held down by her forceful pulling while the rest of my body was sticking out the backseat door. Probably a very weird sight for the rest of the car wash patrons. I totally started to panic as she refused to loosen her grip and started getting really angry with me.
I don’t always panic but for some reason I got really scared at that moment, which is a bad and dangerous reaction for me because at this point she was operating on animal instinct. In her mind her only options were either fight or flight and she always fights when she senses fear or a threat. Despite my knowing this, I started sobbing and begging for her to let go until I was finally able to reach up and grab a chunk of her hair. We each had hair in our hands but I was offering to let go if she released me. Bargaining power. I some how convinced her to free me and jumped out of the car and ran around the car to front seat.
I just started sobbing and couldn’t control myself. I don’t know why I was crying so hard. Maybe it was because I hadn’t been beaten up since the Valentine’s Fiasco and it felt really bad to be back in that place. I should have controlled my emotions better because I know when I cry it freaks her out, but I was a mess. Suddenly, I know you are wondering how suddenly a 175 pound kid could get in the front seat, but she did. She threw herself onto me and my head was pinned against the door. I was screaming and crying and could see a Hispanic Woman through the side window looking at us but she didn’t do anything. What was she going to do?
Luckily my car was still running so I was able to push the phone button on the console and redial Lou, my last call. I didn’t want to call him because I knew he would freak out but it didn’t seem like I had any other option.
When he picked up the line, I begged him to talk to TT and tell her to get off of me. He instantly knew I was in trouble and started talking her off me and ordered her to return to her seat. She stopped right away and eventually got in her seat and I was able to buckle her up. He called his Mom to pick up Trinity at the end of gymnastics because I knew I couldn’t get back in the car with Tiara after the incident and drive back to get Trinity. I was a total basket case.
In looking back on this scenario I know why I started to panic. When this type of thing happens at home, I can safely wrestle her to the ground and restrain her without hurting either of us too much. In public I can’t put her down and sit on top of her until she stops, especially not at a disgustingly dirty self serve car wash. When your child hurts you up, you can’t just beat them up in self defense. Believe me, if she was a stranger I could have gotten her off of me, but I wasn’t going to bite her in the leg, scratch her eyes out, or punch her in the face to save myself. So there is the conflict. I need to protect myself without abusing her in the process. It’s a difficult predicament to be in.
We finally made it home and by the time Lou got home that night I was an emotional zombie but the good news is that I got a back rub from Louie. Check back with me tomorrow because I am going to update you on the results from Tiara’s sleep study.
Have a great day!
p.s. thanks for voting for me on the Mommy sites, I jumped up a bunch of spots on both sites.
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